Love on the Wheelchair
by Crimson Knights
Summary: "Hyuuga! Goodbye!" Like always, he would stop and treasure those final words of the day which came directly from her mouth. He wanted to tell her that this would never be their goodbye as long as they could still see each other the following day. Their final goodbye had yet to come, and he knew it. What made them similar and closer to each other since then was their differences.
1. 1st Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**_  
_

_-2013-_

"Ah, that! I still remember where we first met. We met at one of the school exit gates and I said 'hi' to him."

"She approached me with a warm smile... and I was only eight years old at that time so I found her smile silly. I mean, who would be so happy to go to school on a Monday morning?"

"Let me tell you, the way he stared coldly at me at the corner of his eyes made my insides cringe... He totally destroyed my Pink Monday mood!"

"Who cares about Pink Monday? It's Monday Blues!"

"Guess what he said to me after I greeted him?"

"Guess what I said to her?"

_"Move. You're blocking my way, silly girl."_

**************Disclaimer: I don't own either Gakuen Alice or its characters, except for this story plot.**************

* * *

1st Wheel

_-2003-_

_He planted a kiss on her cheek and whispered, "Love you, Mikan."_

_She shifted her gaze away from him and looked at her knees as she felt the warmth on the spot where he had kissed spread like ripples across her cheek and to her ears. She put her knees together and let out a soft and sweet giggle to hide her awkwardness._

_"Thank you."_

Young love.

_She felt so blessed to be loved by everyone. She had great friends around her and even had an affectionate boyfriend who vowed to love and treasure her forever. She knew she was neither the most pretty girl nor the most intelligent student in her school. She had decent looks and average grades which consisted of minimal 'A's and mostly 'B's but her boyfriend, nevertheless, assured her that she would only be the one for him. She believed him, just like how he believed her when she had told him the same thing multiple times._

_"Mikan, no matter what happens to you, I will continue to be with you."_

_"Thank you."_

Childish love.

_Ever since she had started to go out with her first boyfriend, he had become very special to her. He had become her morale support and she had became his. In her eyes, he was good looking. His grade were much better than hers. She thought he would throw her aside one day if he had found another girl who had better looks and grades, but his words of love assured her that he would never betray her. She trusted his love for her._

Crippled love.

_She had desires. However, because she had her own principles to abide, she had told her boyfriend once that she would never want to go beyond the kissing stage with him before marriage and hoped that he would understand her. He had replied her with an 'okay' and she had assumed that he had understood her concerns._

Blind love.

_Furthermore, they were only_ thirteen.

-:-:-:-

_"Goodbye, Mikan. See you tomorrow!"_

_"See you, Mikan!"_

_"Mikan, remember to call me when you reach home! Let's have girls' talk."_

_"Bye, Mikan!"_

_She smiled at her four friends and bade them goodbye. She had many friends, mostly from the Fencing Club. Her fencing skills were good, not as great as a professional but could earn her the title of a champion in two competitions within the span of eight months ever since she had joined the club as a freshman. Thus, many people tried to befriend her to learn a special move or two from her. She knew that those people were not serious in befriending her but she did not mind them at all._

False friendship.

_"Goodbye!" she said to her four friends. "I will call you girls tonight."_

_The girls grinned and said their final goodbyes to her before walking away at different directions. These four girls were different from those 'fake' friends from the Fencing Club. Like her boyfriend, they supported her and helped her whenever she needed them. She loved them and believed that they felt the way as she did for them. As she stared at the backs of her four friends, her smile slowly faded and her heart started to weigh down her chest. It was only a few minutes and she was already starting to miss their presence. She wondered if they felt the same way too._

Pure friendship.

_"Excuse me."_

_Startled by a soft voice, she turned around and gasped without thinking. It was a small and skinny boy on a wheelchair. She recognised him as her schoolmate with physical disability, though she had no idea what the specific name of his condition was. They had been studying in the same elementary school and middle school for years but were never classmates so she did not really speak much to him. Being an extremely cheerful and polite person, she would always greet him with a smile whenever she saw him._

_"Hyuuga! Good evening!"_

_He remained still and quiet as his eyes moved upwards, staring intensely at her. Her lips curled upwards once more and she bent her body forward so that she could be within his eye level. She knew he had extremely weak body muscles so he could not move his head and look up at her easily._

_"How's your day, Hyuuga?" she asked with a huge grin._

Blooming friendship.

_He continued to stare at her silently before tilting the controller on his right armrest backwards, causing his wheelchair to reverse a little. The gap between them widened._

_"Excuse me."_

_"Ah..." She immediately straightened herself and stood aside. "I'm sorry."_

_He titled the controller forward and moved past her, keeping his silence as usual. He kept moving forward, totally ignoring her presence. She knew that he was not trying to be rude. After all, he was a shy person since he rarely talked to anyone. He was very different from everyone else so it was not surprising to see many 'immature' students shunning him as if his disability was infectious. Though she did not know the name of his condition, she knew that he was just like any other child... including her. He was human just like everyone, not a centre of disease which every student was thinking of._

_She crossed her arms. Teachers should really educate typical children about atypical ones if they wanted to support the idea of inclusion. If not, it was unfair._

_He did not deserve to be shunned!_

_Suddenly, the wheelchair stopped. Tilting her head a little, she wondered if he had left something behind or there was an obstacle in his path. Be it the former or the latter, she had to help him since she was the only student there with him near the school gate. She took a step forward, preparing to call out to him but before a sound could escape from her mouth, the wheelchair started moving again. She stopped and stared at the diminishing figure before her._

_"Oh..." she let out a soft sigh and smiled brightly again. "Hyuuga, goodbye! Have a safe trip back home!"_

_Again, there was no response from him. With that, she turned around and walked away._

Golden friendship.

_"Hmm..." She looked up to the sky while her smile did not cease. "What should I have for dinner later?"_

-:-:-:-

Her head hurt.

"Sakura? Can you hear me?"

Her surrounding was so noisy that her ears began to hurt.

"Mikan Sakura?"

Her shoulders were heavy.

"Can you hear me?"

Her tongue felt rough, as if sand had been applied over it.

"How are you feeling?"

She slowly opened her eyes but immediately squinted at the bright light above her.

"She's awakening."

Her eyes hurt.

Everything seemed to hurt. But she needed to smile... like always.

"Ah... I... f... fine," her voice came out hoarse and cracking due to her dry throat as she forced her chapped lips to curl upwards as usual. "Wh... Who..."

"Sakura, I'm your doctor."

This time, her eyes snapped open but she shut them close again. Her eyes were so dry and she was not used to the glaring light. It seemed as though she had not been in the light for days.

_For days..._

"I'm sure you've realised it by now, Sakura. You're in..."

"Hos... pital."

"That's right," the doctor said as he took a bottle of plain water and placed the connecting tube on her lips. "Have a drink. Your throat must be feeling dry."

Nodding slightly, she wrapped her lips around the tube and began sucking the water. As the water filled her mouth, she felt like she had not been drinking for days.

_Again, for days..._

"Do you still remember what had happened?" the doctor asked.

She slowly opened her eyes once more and stared at the doctor with furrowed eyebrows. Of course, she did. She remembered saying goodbye to her friends and schoolmates on the way back home. Then, she had gone to buy rice balls from the convenience store. Whatever had happened after that became hazy.

She spoke softly, "I was walking home from school and I don't remember what happened after I bought my rice balls."

"Where did you buy your rice balls, Sakura?"

"Erin Convenience Store."

"Time?"

"Not sure. Evening?" Her answer became a question instead.

"What happened after you bought the rice balls?"

Her eyes closed again. "I can't remember. Sorry."

"It's okay. Actually... you've met with an accident," the doctor stated as he began to look at her seriously. "Does this ring a bell?"

"No..." Her mind was still trying to piece everything together after knowing that she had met with an accident but she was still confused as to how she had even met it in the first place. "Tell me more about it, Doctor."

She could hear the doctor inhale deeply, which she could tell that whatever he was going to say to her would be bad news. She clenched her fists and waited for him to spill the truth that had taken place...

_For days._

"Two weeks ago, while you were crossing the road, you were hit by a truck," explained the doctor.

Unfazed by his statement, she quietly nodded as she had kind of predicted it. A road accident was not uncommon and feeling how painful her whole body was, the possibility of having met with a road accident was likely, although she did not think that it was a truck that hit her. If it was really a truck that had hit her, then she was lucky.

She felt so blessed to be alive. Feeling pain all over her body was probably a good sign that she was still in a piece.

Or so she thought.

"The truck ran over you..."

"What?" she interrupted him, shocked by his further explanation.

"I mean, to be specific, it ran over your legs."

"What..." her voice quivered.

She felt strange when he had said that. Her body was in pain but she could not move her legs. It felt as if her legs were immobilised or gone. She could not feel them any longer, no pain or numbness. Her nerves must be playing tricks on her. It had to be, she thought to herself, since it was obviously damaged by the impact.

"We couldn't save them."

_No..._

"Because they were badly crushed."

_Stop it..._

"We had no choice but to..."

_Please don't say it!_

"... amputate them."

_Ah..._

A tear rolled down from the corner of her eye as the realisation of her loss hit her really hard. She was not a whole which she had thought she was. She was not lucky after all.

"No wonder..." she mumbled softly, lips shivering as she controlled herself from crying out loud. "I can't feel my legs at all."

"Sakura..."

Plastering her usual smile on her face, she interrupted the doctor again with a request, "I'm sorry, but can I have a short moment to myself? Please give me five minutes to clear my head."

The doctor looked worriedly at her and did not say anything. After a few seconds of silence, he just nodded and told her that he would drop by again in fifteen minutes to check on her condition. Then, he left the ward, giving her some time alone.

As soon as the doctor left, her smile ceased. She bit her upper lip and held her breath. She could not cry. No, she couldn't. If she did, that would not be Mikan Sakura. Mikan Sakura would never cry...

_Not even when she lost two limbs forever._

In moments of adversity, she would continue to smile, keeping her promise to herself, her late parents and everyone whom she called friends and loves ones.

-:-:-:-

Her boyfriend had visit her only once and that was hours after she had regained conscious. Her four friends did not come to see her at all. After six days since she had woken up, she realised that she was actually alone. Where were they when she really needed them?

Knowing that she looked hideous without her legs, she would cover the lower part of her body with a blanket whenever people entered her ward, especially when her boyfriend had come to pay her a visit.

_His first and last visit._

When he had entered the ward, she had expected him to look worried and ask her how she was feeling. However, his reaction was unexpected.

"Mikan... you look different."

She remembered looking away from his stoic face and down at where her legs were supposed to be. Although she had tried to hide the fact they were no longer there with the thick blanket, it was so obvious...

_So obvious that they were gone._

She had tried very hard to control her tears, especially in front of her boyfriend. Even if she had cried at that moment, it would not do her any good. Crying could neither bring back her legs nor help her to regenerate new ones.

She was not perfect to be begin with, yet her boyfriend had always stayed by her side. She had thought that he would continue to love her for who she was despite being crippled. But she was wrong.

All those while, she had always been wrong.

"I'm sorry, Mikan. I can't... I mean, I don't want to feel... burdened. Burdened by you..."

She remembered turning to him and gave him a final smile, telling him that she had understood what he had meant. After that, he had bidden his farewell to her and left the room without saying his favourite 'love you, Mikan' line to her.

She sighed. This love was so childish and so crippled at the same time. Just because she was so different from others, she was rejected. Not only by him, but also by her friends.

She did not mind giving up fencing but she could not live without love. Her friends were so important to her and she thought that all these while she had been smiling for them. But then again, it was all in her head. So, who exactly was she smiling for?

_No one._

No one cared about her to begin with. The love and friendships were all lies. She should have known better than to delude herself thinking that she was actually blessed with all the attention which she had been receiving.

_She wondered..._

"Sakura, how are feeling today?" asked her doctor who had just entered her ward and he placed a tray of gauze and cotton wool on the small table next to the bed.

"Fine," she replied monotonously.

"Where's your smile, Mikan? You look gloomy these days."

_... what their response would be..._

"I don't know, Doctor. I think I've lost it."

The doctor chuckled. "Cheer up, alright? You will be discharged next week when your body has stabilised. I think it is something every child will look forward to."

"That's not true, Doctor." She looked away and lifted her arm towards the doctor, allowing him to clean her huge wound on her elbow. "Not every child will look forward to a new life with two less limbs."

_... if she died._

* * *

**Author's Note(s):**

**Hi guys, I'm back with a new fanfic '**Love on the Wheelchair**', breaking my promise with my old readers that I would concentrate on my old fanfics before making new ones (as shown on Chapter 40 of '_I Like You, Natsume-oniisan_'). After realising that I didn't contribute any new fanfic to the GA forum in 2014, I feel the need to write something before 2014 ends to fill up this 'missing' gap in my heart by writing a brand new story which I have been planning for quite some time. This story may not be the best among the other nine fanfics which I have written for the past two years but to me, this story plot has a personal touch which I can't explain here in words. Like '_Love at Last Sign_', this story may carry some meaning which some readers can relate to.**

_**Please take note that this fanfiction is purely fictional.****** Any familiar or similar events in this story are not related to any real life people or events at all. They are purely coincidental.****_

**Anyway, **a simple review is more than welcomed!** I don't mind criticisms but they have to be constructive. Thank you for reading! :)**


	2. 2nd Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

_-2013-_

"Are you asking me whether I think he's cute? If so, of course! I think he's very cute. He's very clever too. So clever that I'm almost blinded by the light bulb above his head."

"Cute? She's not cute at all. Really. Do you need me to explain the meaning of cute to you?"

"In terms of personality, he's shy and doesn't really talk much. But when you get to know him better, he's actually nice to talk to. He's like any person who enjoys talking about chasing butterflies."

"She's the one who always talks a lot but actually... she's quite an introvert. Selectively social, to be exact."

"I agree that I'm selectively social because... ever since I was rejected by my peers, I was changed. But I was changed again by him."

"In fact, she has changed me."

"He made Mondays pastel pink, one of my favourite colours."

"I used to hate Mondays and I didn't know since when I began to look forward to Mondays. It's like... screw you, Monday Blues! I'm going to see her soon."

"Still, I love Mondays. Although he may argue how gay Pink Monday sounds, he will agree with me that Mondays are the best day ever of the week because..."

"Pink Monday sounds so gay. In my opinion, Yellow Monday would definitely sound better because..."

_"We're each other's sunshine."_

* * *

2nd Wheel

_-2003-_

"Take care, Natsume. Have fun in school." His mother placed his books on his personal school desk and smiled at him. "I'm sorry that I can't stay with you in school today. Dad and I have some important stuffs going on at our workplace."

He shook his head which was not obvious if one did not pay attention to his small action, and softly replied, "It's okay."

"I will pick you up after school, okay? You can approach the Special Needs Officers if you need any help."

"Okay."

His mother knitted her eyebrows and stared worriedly at him. Knowing her, she was not the type of person who would want to leave her baby son alone. She just could not trust him to look after himself no matter how old he was. In fact, he could not do much on his own and he knew this. With his disability, he could not be like any normal human being who could move about freely. His life was dependent on his electrical wheelchair and he could not live without it. His wheelchair was his only legs.

"Don't worry, Mum. I can look after myself," he assured. "I must be independent for once."

"Natsume..."

"Go. Dad is waiting in the car."

His mother bit her lower lip and nodded slowly. "Take care."

"Bye."

"Goodbye, Dear."

As soon as he saw his mother step out of the classroom, his eyes sparkled with excitement. It was his first time being independent in school. There was no parent to keep an eye on him either. This was absolute freedom!

His small bony fingers wrapped around the controller and he gently pushed it forward. It was finally time to explore the school alone, which he had not gotten the chance to since his enrollment. He moved past the door and out of the classroom. A classmate of his inside the classroom called him to return to class as it would be a hassle if he got lost, but he did not listen to his classmate. It was a rare chance to obtain such freedom and anyway, it was not like he would be lost easily since he had promised himself that he would not go very far.

He went passed many classroom along the corridor and stopped at the elevator lobby. His eyes narrowed at the button. Even if he was a little stronger, there was no way he could reach the button with such short hands. Whoever had designed the elevator and the lobby layout obviously lacked knowledge on ergonomics or did not take people like him into consideration. Anyway, he was not going to blame them since the elevator was not built solely for him.

Suddenly, someone appeared behind him and he saw a hand reach out and press the button.

"There you go!" A familiar voice came from behind, causing him to stiffen.

A brunette stood next to him and bent her body forward, looking straight into his eyes. Seeing her usual radiant smile on her face, he felt himself melting. He shifted his gaze away from her and remained silent...

As usual.

"Good morning, Hyuuga! Where are you going at this time? Homeroom is starting soon," she asked in a happy tone.

He refused to look at her. Never did he try to look at her directly. Whenever he saw her face, he was reminded that they were from two different worlds. She led a normal life with many good friends while he led a life which was full of peer rejections and scorn. The only people who accepted him for who he was was his parents and the brunette. Despite how weird he was to everybody, this schoolmate of his seemed to disregard his disability and greeted him almost everyday like what she did to everyone else.

The elevator doors slid open and he entered elevator.

The girl took a step inside it and queried, "Which level?"

"Ground."

"Okay! Pressed!" she chimed as she pressed the button which had the numeral '1' shown on it.

Then, she stepped out of the elevator and smiled at him. Lucky for him, the elevator had three large reflective metal panels surrounding him and he could see her smile which he had grown to like over the past five years of his life.

"Bye, Hyuuga!" she said and waved to his reflection in the mirror.

He could feel his heart beat slightly faster as a familiar yet foreign feeling filled his chest. He did not understand why she was treating him so nice, unlike the other children who always avoided him or scorned at him as if he was some monster.

Yes, he was different yet so similar to those children.

He was human. A boy with special need, he was.

"Mikan," a male voice called out, causing him to look in the mirror to see who the person was.

It was a boy. A really handsome one.

He noticed how surprised and happy the brunette looked when she saw the boy. She skipped towards the boy and wrapped her arms around his arm, greeting him and asking him if he had enjoyed his weekend. Before he could hear the boy's reply, the elevator doors closed.

No matter how hard he tried to erase the image of them being together, he still could not ignore the fact that the boy was her boyfriend. A really handsome boyfriend.

-:-:-:-

His father strapped him to his wheelchair and patted his head, saying, "Well done for successfully handling the mouse, Natsume."

He nodded slowly, acknowledging his father's praise. He felt happy for being able to use the mouse the right way after many weeks of occupational therapy. Normally, he would use a specially made equipment which acted like a mouse for the physically disabled whenever he used the computer. However, he wanted to be like other children, being able to do things which they could do, except for things which required gross motor skills.

"Natsume, please stay here for a few minutes. Your daddy has heard a call." His father placed his hand behind his earlobe and hummed. "Who has called me?"

Looking mildly amused, his eyes widened a little and he said to his father, "I wonder."

"Who?"

"I heard nothing, Dad."

"Wrong! It's nature's call."

"Oh." He found himself rolling his eyes at his father's deep joke. "Whatever. Go and answer that call."

His father laughed and patted his head again. "Thanks, son. I'll be right back."

"Big or small business?"

"A rather big one."

"Okay."

When his father hurried off to find the restroom, he started to observe the people around him. He was in the hospital garden where many physically disabled people would hang out and do their therapies together. He stationed himself next to a potted plant and bench so that he could watch how those people with potentially normal legs moved across the two metal waist-height bars with the nurses' support. Just then, a wheelchair slowly moved across his vision. A familiar brunette whom he had not seen in weeks finally appeared before him, hands struggling to push the wheels to move herself forward.

He was stunned. He had heard of her being hospitalised but not to the horrible extent of losing her legs. She looked different; not just physically, but also the air around her. She was no longer the bright sunshine he had known for the past five years. She was not smiling, not greeting random people and was looking very tired. His gut was telling him that she was already dead.

Emotionally dead.

She move past the therapy equipments and out of the garden. Tailing behind her secretly, he saw her stop at the top of a staircase and look down to see whatever was at the bottom of the staircase. His heart was pounding rapidly at the scene before him. He had no idea what she was going to do but he had a bad feeling about this. He saw her taking in a deep breath and her hand gripping tightly onto the wheels. Her arms were trembling and tears started rolling down her cheeks.

She moved backwards a little and as soon as he saw her hands preparing to push the wheel forward, he finally knew what she was going to do next.

"Don't do it..." he muttered in a shaky voice as he quickly moved towards her. "Sakura... don't..."

Apparently, she could not hear him. With a heavy push on her wheels...

"Sakura!"

He panted. After so many years, he had finally shouted. Due to his weak lungs, he could not shout or talk loudly. His chest hurt but that did not matter to him at this moment.

If he could save her, such pain was worth it.

Startled, she held onto the wheel and turned to look at him. Her eyes widened.

"Hyu... Hyuuga... why?" her voice quivered.

"Are you stupid?" he scolded and moved even closer to her. "Do you want to kill yourself badly?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and sniffed hard. She was at the edge of the staircase and that worried him a lot. She might fall at any moment if she made a careless move. Furthermore, she was having difficulty in handling the wheerchair. But he could not blame her for trying to end everything at this instance because he knew how it felt to be different from others.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled.

"Calm down," he said, lifting up his scrawny hand and showing her his tiny fingers. "Move back, okay? It's dangerous. Don't do anything silly."

She shook her head and shouted, "Go away, Hyuuga. You don't understand!"

She jerked forward, causing her wheelchair to move forward as well. He let out a soft gasp.

Oh no, she was going to fall!

"If you continue to be stubborn, I shall scream," he threatened.

"Then, scream!"

He frowned at her. So, she was challenging him. As if he would not dare to scream! He did not care if he screamed until his lungs exploded as long as his voice could hit some sense back to her again. She was never like this. She used to be so bright and so optimistic; he hated to admit it but he had always liked her presence even though he was only a regular schoolmate in her eyes.

"I will scream."

She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly showing her doubt that he would scream due to his weak muscles.

"I will scream and I don't care," he continued. "I don't care if I die screaming... as long as I can stop you... I don't care."

Her eyes wavered at his sudden declaration. Tears were welling up in her eyes again. Upon seeing her tears, he felt bad. He wondered if he had sounded harsh but he assured himself that he had meant well.

"Don't be stupid," she muttered and looked away. "I have nothing left to stay alive. Everyone left me. My friends left me. He left me. What do I have left?"

She turned to him, staring into his eyes with her teary bloodshot ones.

"I have nothing, Hyuuga. Nothing," her voice softened as she said that. "All along... my life... is a lie."

She looked so broken, so vulnerable... that he wanted to embrace her and tell her that he had not left her yet. He wanted to comfort her but he did not know how. He was so afraid that his words would hurt her even more or crush her bitter heart because he had never comfort anyone before.

"You're different," he said, causing her to look at him with a stunned look.

"Ah... I know..." She hung her head low and snorted softly. "Everyone hates the different me. Everyone prefers the old Mikan Sakura who had legs. The new legless Mikan... is entirely a different specie. So different. So abnormal."

"It's true that you're different. But..."

"Enough! Please, Hyuuga, don't say anymore!"

"... that's just physical because you are still Mikan Sakura whom I have known since elementary school."

The brunette looked up, staring at him again but with a confused look.

"No matter how different you are from the past, nothing will change the fact... that you have always been my saviour." He forced a weak smile. "Now, I want to save you, just like how you saved me five years ago... at the school exit gate."

He remembered being ostracised by his schoolmates and had thought that nobody liked him. It was until that moment when she had come up to him and greeted him for the first time, he had finally felt accepted. Since that day, she had been greeting him whenever they crossed paths, whether was it within or outside the campus. Inwardly, he felt happy...

Happy that he was at least recognised by a peer.

The brunette laughed weakly, but in a sarcastic manner. "Are you... stupid? Who would remember such a thing from five years ago? How am I your saviour? It doesn't even make sense!"

"It does!" He frowned at her and tried to lean forward but could not due to the metal implantation on his back. "You wouldn't know how much your words meant to me back then. But of course, you would not know... because you're not me. You don't know my feelings!"

Keeping silent, the brunette turned her head to the other side to hide her embarrassment. Of course, she would not know his feelings. All along he was just a peer, a very special peer who was physically different, to her. She did not know that a simple action of hers like greeting could mean so much to a person, especially to him.

Her trembling hands that were still holding onto the wheels pushed backward, causing herself to move backward as well. Then, she turned to face him with her head hung low.

"I must be pathetic, right? Thinking that suicide is the only option," she muttered as more tears began to fill her eyes.

Feeling slightly relieved that she had finally retreated, he replied softly in a monotone, "No, you're just immature."

"What?" Her head jolted upwards and she glared at him with teary eyes. "I'm not immature!"

He crooked his eyebrow and said, "Only people who are immature tend to forget that there are still other people, at least someone, who hold them dear in their hearts."

She stared at him, looking stunned for a brief moment and bashful in the next moment. He saw a blush creep to her cheeks as she began to look away, hiding her face from him.

"Th... Thank you... Hyu... Hyuuga."

Her voice was so soft yet it sounded so sincere. He gave her a small smile. Upon seeing her still-tearing eyes, he had an urge to wipe the tears away for her. However, he could not. If only he was born normal, he would do it for her.

"Natsume!"

He flinched slightly. Oh no, he had forgotten about his father!

He immediately rotated the controller and his wheelchair turned to face the direction of where he had heard his father's voice had come from. He saw his father jog towards him while panting heavily. Feeling so bad for making his poor father look for him in this huge therapy garden, he decided to make a sheepish look on his face and pretend that he was chasing butterflies. He would then tell his father his fabricated story on his butterfly adventure.

But there was a problem.

That girl was still crying!

He pushed the controller forward and moved his wheelchair towards his father. He could tell a simple lie and everything would be fine. His father would not have to get the wrong idea that his 'un-gentlemanly' son had made a girl cry.

"Hyuuga!" He heard the girl's voice calling out to him from behind. "Goodbye!"

He stopped. Like always, he would stop and treasure those final words of the day which came directly from her mouth. He wanted to laugh normally, telling her that this would never be their goodbye as long as they could still see each other the following day or week. Their final goodbye had yet to come, and he knew it.

Lastly, he wanted to tell her one thing which he found so embarrassing to say it openly.

_'Get well soon, Sakura.'_

Instead, like always, he left her without saying a word.

* * *

**I didn't expect to receive more than ten reviews for this story! Unlike my other fanfics, this story is quite deep and has less drama. Anyway, thank you for reviewing, favouriting and following this story! Thanks for all the encouragement and support as well!**

**Special thanks to the reviewers:**

**\- StarElsie:** _But things will get better as the story goes. :)_  
**\- Dwmalove:** _I kind of predicted that my readers would mistake the boyfriend as Natsume at first, but nope, Natsume is way better than that boyfriend in this story. ;)_  
**\- AeLi'S LaNd Of DrEaMs:** _No, I should be the one thanking you for reading and reviewing this story. I hope you like this new chapter! :D_  
**\- Eka19:** _Yup, it's a chaptered story. Thank you for reviewing! ^ ^_  
**\- YoshidaHaru:** _Thanks for reviewing. I will do my best in making the future chapters more interesting too! :)_  
**\- Stayuplate:** _Sure, thanks! :)_  
**\- AnimeMango:** _Thank you! I hope you like the 2nd chapter! :)_  
**\- AiramEnayle:** _I think by this chapter, you would roughly know the answers to the questions you asked me before. I am not going to give any spoiler, but all I can say that the third chapter will definitely answer your questions in a not-so-subtle way. ;)_  
**\- Guest:** _It will be a chaptered story but... this story will have less than 10 chapters._  
**\- sweet little:** _I agree that it is sad but I am sure there are people out there who experience such horrible things in their lives. Thanks for reviewing! :)_  
**\- Metallic Snow:** _Thank you! ^ ^_


	3. 3rd Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

* * *

3rd Wheel

_-2000-_

"Good day, Hyuuga! Do you need any help?"

He tightened his fist around the controller. It was so embarrassing as he was caught having trouble with an obstacle in front of him- the kerb. The brunette pulled his wheelchair backwards and turned it to face the opposite side.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

He contemplated for a second. He should not be embarrassed over such a trivial thing for he needed to get to class fast. His mother who was supposed to accompany him wherever he went was nowhere to be seen. All thanks to two butterflies, he got distracted and was separated from his mother.

"Class 4A."

"Ah! Alright! Here we go then!" she said cheerfully and pushed his wheelchair.

She accompanied him around the campus, hoping to find a slope or a level that could allow him to avoid the kerb. He knew there was a metal level somewhere in the school but because his mother had always been the one guiding him, he had paid less attention to such thing before.

"Found it!"

He snapped out of his thoughts and stared ahead. There appeared the glorious thing which he had been desperately looking for since the past half an hour.

"Hold on tight, Hyuuga! You're going up, up and away!" she exclaimed loudly and before he knew what was happening, she pushed his wheelchair up the level with speed.

The cool air brushed across his face. Flashes of white lights flew across his vision and he heard wheezing sound in his ears. He was going so fast that his heart was pounding rapidly against his chest because he found it...

_So thrilling._

The wheelchair halted abruptly and he found himself staring at the dim hallway which would lead him to the elevator. The girl behind him laughed. Her laughter sounded so musical to his ears. He never knew that his presence could elicit such cheerful laughter from her.

"Hyuuga, that's how running feels like," she stated, appearing in front of him. "Everything goes so fast that your hair starts to fly."

His gaze softened at her beam. He agreed with her and he felt like adding that he had found it thrilling as well. But if he was vocal about it, he knew he would die from embarrassment.

_Die from his rapid heartbeat._

-:-:-:-

_-2003-_

"Natsume," said he. "I'm Natsume Hyuuga from Class 1-1. Student code number 03 016."

The librarian keyed the code into the library system and scanned the book which was placed on her desk. After scanning the book's barcode, she placed the book on Natsume's lap and placed the receipt on top of the book.

The library informed, "The due date is printed on the receipt. It's due the week after next. Have a nice day, Hyuuga."

"Thanks."

He exited the school library and moved towards his mother who was waiting outside for him. Smiling at her, he touched the book cover and tried to push the book forward against his lap to signal to her to hold the book for him. However, his palm slid across the book cover and his mouth immediately formed a thin line. His mother caught his message and picked up the book.

"English 101 for beginners," his mother read out the book title and her eye averted back to him. "You're not even in high school yet."

He rested his elbow on the armrest and rested his chin on his knuckles. "I'm interested in this language."

The woman chuckled softly and put the book into her handbag. Her son just loved to explore and learn new things. Even at the age of thirteen, the sight of animals crossing his path still interested him and he would chase after them with full speed using his electrical wheelchair.

"Besides, I want to learn English," he continued. "Before I don't have the chance to do so next time."

Her chuckle died. She frowned at her son and pouted.

"Don't say such things, Natsume!" she chided, even though she was not planning to deny what he had said earlier. "Look at those people with SMA who are already in their thirties!"

"Because they are type 3?"

A vein on her forehead popped out. "Natsume, there are even people who belong to the type 2 category living as long as them."

"Lucky people."

"You're wrong, my son. It's one percent of luck and one percent of destiny," his mother stated in a confident tone. "But forty-nine percent of your willpower and another forty-nine percent of your health."

Natsume stared at her without making any expression when he was actually having an urge to roll his eyes at her. His mother was wrong. He felt that whatever she had said was the exact opposite of the reality. It should be one percent of willpower, one percent of health, forty-nine percent of luck and forty-nine percent of destiny. He was destined to die young no matter how strong his willpower was and how healthy he could be. If he needed to go, the death angel would visit him anyway. What about luck? Well, if Lady Luck gave up on him, the death angel would come knocking on his door, as simple as that.

This was not called pessimism; this was called realism.

"Lunch break will end soon. Let's return to class, alright?" his mother suggested with a bright smile, pushing the depressing matter side.

Natsume nodded gently and made his way to the nearby elevator while his mother followed him behind. After taking the elevator to the storey where his classroom was, he moved past the classroom of Class 1-6, then the classroom of Class 1-5, and the next classroom which belonged to Class 1-4. He halted right outside Class 1-4 and stole a glimpse inside the classroom.

Mikan was not in school again. Wasn't she supposed to be discharged after a few weeks of recovery? He inwardly panicked. What if she tried to commit suicide again?

He chewed his lower lip as his eyes scanned the classroom multiple times. There were many students in there and he could not see her face or anyone else on a wheelchair. Suddenly, a student noticed his presence outside the classroom and headed towards the door. He stepped out of the classroom and greeted Natsume with a weak smile. Though the smile was weak, it looked fake and irritating to Natsume.

"Hyuuga, do you have any busine..." The student paused and shifted his gaze to the older woman behind Natsume. "Ah, I mean, need any help?"

Natsume tilted the controller forward, totally ignoring the student's question, and left the place. His mother apologised to the student for Natsume's rude behaviour and then caught up with her son again.

Natsume did not get it. Why should she apologise to that student when that student was rude to him first? Didn't she know that the student originally wanted to say 'do you have any business with Class 1-4'? This type of people should be ignored. If not for his mother's presence, that student would have already made fun of his disability.

Natsume was born special. At the age of only six months old, he was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and there was no treatment and cure for this medical condition. His parents went through the stages of the grief cycle before coming in terms with reality. There was no one to blame for his disability but Natsume wanted something which he could blame on and that was his genetic make-up.

He passed by Class 1-3, then Class 1-2, and he stopped. Just right outside Class 1-1, his classroom, was a brunette on a manual wheelchair. She peeped inside his noisy classroom through the door frame for a long moment and slowly retreated from the sliding doors. Her wheelchair turned to her left side and she came face-to-face with him. Her jaw dropped in surprise at the sight of him.

"Hyu... Hyuuga!" Her face turned slightly pink, showing hints of both relief and embarrassment. "Good morning!"

"Afternoon," he greeted, half intentionally correcting her.

"Opps... Haha!" She covered her mouth and laughed softly at her mistake.

Seeing her laugh, Natsume inwardly smiled. Mikan was back to normal again. How glad was he...

"You're Natsume's friend?" his mother asked curiously, looking at the brunette from head to... wheels.

Mikan looked at the woman and smiled.

"Yeah," Mikan answered bashfully, stealing shy glances at Natsume. "I... I think so."

The woman rubbed her chin and narrowed her eyes at Mikan. "I don't think I've seen you in Class 1-1 before but you look somewhat familiar."

Mikan blinked. "I'm from Class 1-4, Mrs Hyuuga."

"Oh..." Natsume's mother nodded in realisation. "I guess Natsume was looking for you just now."

Mikan looked at Natsume with wide eyes. "Eh? Really?"

Natsume fought the urge to shout 'no' but his mother was right. He was actually looking for her. There was no way Mikan should know about this because it was so unlike him. Thus, he chose to remain still and silent.

"Natsume is shy," his mother spoke in his stead. "But I'm glad that he has such a nice friend."

"Tha... Thank you." Mikan blushed and lowered her head. "Hyuuga is... is a nice... fri... friend... too."

Natsume narrowed his eyes at Mikan. It was his first time seeing her stutter so much. All these while he thought she was outspoken, vocal and sociable. Who knew that Mikan had a shy side as well? Did she show this side to her boyfriend too, especially when they shared silly sweet talks with each other? Most likely, because he had read in his 'Guide to the Human Mind' book written by a psychologist that people tend to act silly and shy when they are in love. He could not imagine Mikan acting silly...

No, correction, she had acted silly once! This silly brunette tried to kill herself because of love!

She had thought everyone hated her for she had become handicapped. No love had been perceived and life became useless to her. In the eyes of Mikan, life without love was meaningless. As a child with special needs, he received no love from his peers and the other close-minded people. The only love he received was from his parents. His parents were the reason he could remain strong. Looking at Mikan, he did not get why parental love was not enough for her. Was she starving for acceptance from her peers? If so, was that why she was always greeting others not just for being kind, but also to gain their attention?

Just then, he realised he knew nothing about her after five years of watching her cheerful disposition. Mikan was more complex than he had thought she was and this girl's smiles held a deeper meaning which he might not be able to comprehend. However, he wanted to understand her and let the sun which she had once lost shine above her again. She was still hurt, he could tell.

"Welcome back to school," he blurted, trying to drift away from the cheesy nice-friend topic. "Lessons are going to start soon."

Mikan nodded with a grin and pushed the wheels forward. She bade farewell to the mother and son, and moved away, heading towards her classroom. Natsume prayed to himself that her classmates would not remove the small bit of sun above her, which he had tried so hard to let it shine even if it was so small as compared to the one which she had placed above him since five years ago.

-:-:-:-

"Did you watch that drama? The one I recommended last week."

"The 1996 romance drama series?"

"What is it called?"

"Forbidden Love, I think. Am I wrong?"

"Hi!" Mikan greeted her four friends from behind, interrupting their conversation on dramas. "How are you girls?"

The four girls turned around and stared at Mikan with a startled look on their faces. One of them immediately averted her eyes away from Mikan while the another girl cleared her throat as she looked at the empty desk with so much interest as if the desk had something pretty on it. The other two friends cracked a weak smile on their pale faces and made some inaudible noises which led Mikan to question herself on her looks. Mikan had covered her missing limbs with a thick colourful blanket and reminded herself constantly that she did not look like an old woman who was afraid that her legs would be cold; it was fashion.

Fashion on the wheelchair.

But the response from the girls reminded her once again that she looked like an old woman.

"Mikan, you... you look fine," a friend spoke in a shaky voice and nudged a girl next to her to say something.

The girl who was nudged froze and began to think of something interesting to say. All Mikan could do was to look at her with a sad smile. So, after everything that had happened, she was treated like an acquaintance whose presence could cause them to be tongue-tied.

"Your blanket looks good, Mi... Mikan. I can barely see your legs," the girl finally spoke as well after much thought.

The other three girls stared at the girl in disbelief. Mikan furrowed her eyebrows but quickly laughed. This was so awkward and she could barely think of anything else to retort against her friend. It was not that her legs were barely seen. Her once tone legs were indeed not seen, not present, not even attached to her body, not something she could support her body anymore, not a pair of prizes she could show off anymore...

What did she have now in replace of her tone and pretty legs? A pair of _wheels_, that was.

A girl clasped her hands together and said, "Ah, Mikan, we're extremely sorry that we couldn't visit you while you were in hospital. You know, we were busy and stuff... and... hmm..."

The girl paused and looked at Mikan apologetically. The other girls looked at one another before hanging their heads low.

"It's okay," Mikan assured. "I'm sorry too."

The four girls looked up in puzzlement.

"That evening when we promised to have girls' talk... I'm sorry..." Mikan hung her head low and tucked her loose hair behind her left ear. "I broke my promise. I didn't manage to call you girls."

"Mikan..."

Mikan closed her eyes which were already begging to let all the tears out. She was sorry, very sorry.

"Because of my carelessness on the road, I didn't make it for our chat." As silly as Mikan felt for saying that, she just wanted to apologise. "Really sorry for that."

"It couldn't be helped, right? Besides... we didn't expect you to be chatting with us after we heard the news about the accident. We know it was uncalled for but... we understand."

Mikan's head jolted upwards and smiled in relief. They did not show any sign of hating her. That was great...

"I need to go back to my class now," a girl said and waved to the other three girls, refusing to meet Mikan's eyes.

"Ah! Wait for me!" The other girl bounced on her feet and joined the girl who was already leaving the classroom.

"I have to help my homeroom teacher with some stuffs. So bye," the third girl said coolly and walked away.

Mikan stared at the last girl, who was also in the same class as her, with anticipation. However, the girl took a step back and glanced around the classroom. Suddenly, the girl's face brightened up and she waved to someone behind Mikan.

"Inchou! Let me help you with the administration stuff!" she shouted and ran off, leaving Mikan all alone in the middle of the classroom.

Mikan scanned the back of the classroom from left to right and a soft chuckle escaped from her lips. Those classmates of hers were staring at her and as soon as her eyes landed on them, they looked away. She shook her head with a pained smile as tears began to well up on her lower eyelids.

She understood their actions, even a young child could feel their intention of avoiding her. She could not deny that she looked different but it was so painful to admit it. It was also very painful to know that she had lost her friends as well.

"I'm sorry," she muttered softly to no one in particular as she pressed her palms against her eyes.

_I'm so sorry that I am no longer the same as before._

-:-:-:-

It was the same routine the following day. His strong father would lift him up from his bed and placed him on the wheelchair. After he was being washed up by his father, he would have his breakfast prepared by his mother. He always looked forward to his mother's minced chicken porridge every morning and had never gotten tired of it. After his breakfast, his parents would take him to school and one of them had to stay with him at school. But this time, it was different.

He had longed for this moment to happen again!

Freedom!

If he had the strength, he would ball his fists and held them in the air as if he had score a goal.

"Approach the Special Needs Officers..."

"If I need any help," he interrupted his mother. "Don't worry. I can handle this myself."

"Really, Natsume?" his mother asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Bye."

His father who was in the car waved goodbye to him while his mother pushed his wheelchair towards the school entrance. With a kiss on each other's cheek, his mother bade goodbye to him and left for work. He entered the school and the first thing he did was to head to Mikan's classroom. Since the lunch break from the day before, he had been wondering if she was coping well with her classmates and class assignments. Her bright personality would conquer those immature peers but seeing that she had just recovered from her minor depression, she might be thinking of doing stupid things again. So, he had to see how she was doing on her second day of school.

He stopped right outside Class 1-4 classroom and scanned the interior for the brunette. Just then, he spotted her station at the back of the classroom near the window, hugging her bag as she stared at the scenery outside. She looked so down, so rejected...

"It's you again," a familiar harsh voice sounded behind him. "I see that you're not with your momma today."

Natsume inwardly scowled. It must be that male student again. That rude, two-faced brat who had originally wanted to say 'do you have any business with Class 1-4' to him if not for his mother's presence! Had he been even angrier than what he was feeling right at this moment, he would have ram his hundred kilograms electrical wheelchair onto that brat!

Natsume inhaled deeply. He needed to cool down and meet Mikan with a smile. Ignoring the annoying smirk which the male student was giving him, Natsume went past him and entered the classroom without even caring if he was intruding into a class that was not his. All he had in mind was to bring the sun back above the brunette's head... with a smile like she had always given him.

He heard murmurs all around him but he had already expected those students to react negatively at his presence. If they ignored Mikan, they would also do the same thing to him as well. Anyway, it was not like he was bothered about them. He had faced worse treatments than those murmurs and scorn looks which he was receiving in Class 1-4.

He had his eyes fixated at Mikan as he moved closer to her. Noticing someone move closer to her, the brunette turned her head towards him and a smile slowly formed on her face. Before she could greet him like usual, Natsume stopped in front of her and greeted her first, which was totally unexpected to the girl.

"Morning."

Mikan's eyes widened in surprise. Natsume greeted her first for the first time in five years! A blush crept to her cheeks as she stared shyly at Natsume.

"Good morning, Hyuuga. How are you today?" she greeted.

Natsume's mouth twitched. As much as he wanted to put on a smile that Mikan had always worn, he could not produce it. He needed a warm sweet smile that could melt the ice around her but he could not do it. It was not because of his weak muscles; it was because he had never smile widely at others before and he was actually going to do it to her.

To the person he had admired, for crying out loud!

"Ah..." He was at loss for words, seeing how Mikan was looking at him with lots of anticipation and wondering why his response about his day would mean so much to her. "Fine."

"Me too," she said with a wide smile, making him frown at her.

What a lie. She was definitely not fine!

His mouth twitched again as he tried to imitate her smile. Mikan looked curiously at him, wondering if he was all right. She furrowed her eyebrows and leaned forward a little.

"Are you okay, Hyuuga? Is there... something you need to tell me?" she asked worriedly.

Natsume gave up. Even if he could not smile to cheer her up, he was sure that he could at least do something to bring the sun back. He decided that his method of cheering her up would be subtle.

He spoke, "Sakura, have you ever skipped classes before?"

Mikan arched an eyebrow. "No. Because I'm a good kid..."

"Me either," Natsume interjected.

"Why?"

"Let's do something different today," he suggested firmly.

"What?"

"Let's be bad children for once." With a still face, Natsume reversed and slowly made a turn to face the rest of the despicable students in front of the classroom. "Follow me... Sakura."

* * *

**Sorry for the long update! So, in this chapter, it was revealed that Natsume was an individual with SMA. You can _google up_ the term to find out more about this condition. Anyway, thank you for reviewing, favouriting and following this story! And thanks for all the encouragement and support as well!**

**Special thanks to the reviewers:**

**\- sweet little:** _I'm sorry. It is rare to see 'improving conditions' in people with SMA like standing up and walking independently. It's possible but it's hard. There are many therapies for people with SMA to help them to maintain their muscle strength and prevent rapid deterioration of their muscles._  
**\- XNatsumeXMikanX:** _Thank you! I have never thought that this theme would interest readers! :)  
_**\- Crazy Shortie:** _Hey, thanks! Hope you like this chapter! I like writing something different too. :D  
_**\- AnimeMango:** _Thank you!_**  
\- Yoshida Haru:** _Yes. -salutes- :)_  
**\- StarElsie:** _Haha! I agree! Thanks for reviewing._  
**\- Mystique0831:** _Thanks! :)  
_**\- CrimsonPrincess14:** _Here you go! Sorry for the late update!  
_**\- Guest:** _Thank you for reviewing! I hope that this chapter and the future chapters will answer all your questions which you have in mind. I don't want to spoil this story so... please be patient with my slow updates. Hahaha... But I promise that your questions will be answered by the end of this story.  
_**\- Guest (BlackMaskedBeauty):** _And here's another update! :D  
_**\- Anilissa:** _Thanks for reviewing! Hope to hear more from you soon. :)_


	4. 4th Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

* * *

4th Wheel

_-2003-_

It was not her first time seeing the sea. Neither was it her first time playing on the beach. But it was her first time experiencing a strange feeling in her chest at the sight of the beach. The feeling was unexplanable but if she was asked to describe it verbally, she would say that her chest felt like it was going to burst anytime soon and she felt like shouting her name across the sea.

Because she was with him, the one who was so special... to her.

"I love the sun!" she shouted as she threw her arms high above her head. "I love the breeze! I love the white sand! I love this day!"

Natsume's gentle gaze rested on her face which seemed to glow radiantly from the reflection of the sun set. Or was it because she was so happy that she seemed to glow? He shrugged. It did not matter which as long as she was enjoying herself. Convincing her to skip school was sure difficult. She kept nagging about how bad it was to skip school and how they could do this type of thing without a reason. Well, what could he expect from a goody-two-shoes girl? He had skipped school countless times before... but of course, with medical reasons. Somehow, after lying to her that their teachers knew about their absence and they allowed them to spend a day out together as buddies of special needs, the dense girl had agreed. She actually agreed without questioning him further much to his surprise.

"You're too loud."

Mikan turned to look at him, smile fading away. Upon receiving her questioning gaze, Natsume immediately replaced his gentle eyes with annoyed ones. However, she seemed unaffected by his facade as she put on a smile again.

"Sorry, Hyuuga. I'm just so happy." She flushed. "Being with you makes me so happy."

It was his turn to grow flustered. He looked away from her and cleared his throat in embarrassment. So, taking her out to play on the beach could make her so happy. So happy that she could not keep her voice in check. Inwardly, he felt relieved that she was able to relief her unhappiness through shouting. If only his lung muscles were strong enough, he would have gone to the beach and shouted to his heart content.

"Hyuuga, try shouting. You can actually feel better!"

Natsume crooked an eyebrow at her. Was she serious?

She continued, "You can shout softly. As soft as a mouse, would be fine too. You must screw all those brats who look down on you!"

She balled her hand into a fist and held it up high. The way she was positioning herself made her look as if she was mimicking the statue of justice, except without the blindfold. He stifled a laugh. So, she remembered that he could not shout. But he swore to himself that if he had ever shouted like a mouse, he would rather keep his mouth shut and mentally picture himself growing a pair of bronze muscular limbs and bashing those annoying pests. Those brats had been killed by him over a thousand times in his head.

"Hyuuga?" her voice sounded worried. "I... I... You don't have to shout if you don't want to!"

Her fist dropped to her lap as she looked at him apologetically. She looked as if she had said something wrong and wanted to take back her words. Technically, she had just spoken something that made her sound as if she had not regard his feelings at all. But of course, he knew that she did not mean it that way.

"I won't shout," he spoke as he saw her head lower in guilt. "But I will shout for you."

She looked up at him, astonished by what he had said. "I was just kidding, Hyuuga. You don't have to shout..."

"If you try to be silly again... like the last time, I will shout," he interjected with a small smile. "Really shout."

Mikan flushed again. Even though his words were not like the sweet-coated ones her ex-boyfriend had used, Natsume had managed to send her heart beating very fast. Natsume was, in fact, a shy person. He did not demonstrate his thoughts and feelings in an obvious way but somehow, she knew that he cared for her. The only obvious way he had ever showed her what he was thinking was through his small smile, that was, if his threats which had gotten to do with his shouting were never counted.

Natsume narrowed his eyes at her redden face and then looked away, facing the sea which reflecting the reddish-orange sun. He could not believe it; Mikan had become tanned that fast.

No, it must be the sunset. The sunset had made her face glow red.

"Hey, Hyuuga." Mikan pushed her wheelchair closer to him and adjusted her position so that she could be next to him side by side. "The sun is really beautiful."

There was a short moment of silence between them, only the sound of the crashing waves against the shore and the yaking of the seagulls above them could be heard. The silence was so pure and comforting that both of them wanted to treasure this moment together before heading off. Natsume slowly turned his head to his right, wanting to look at her again. He wondered what kind of face she was making while enjoying the scene of the sun setting. She would probably be smiling away and inwardly thanking him for spending a day with her on the beach. As soon as his eyes made contact with her face, he froze.

She was staring at him... too.

"Thank you." She grinned happily as she tilted her head a little. "Skipping classes today was sure worth it. Being a bad child for once was sure fun!"

Natsume felt like smirking. As soon as he returned home, the fun would be gone. His parents would be worried sick as the school would contact them about his absence. Well, if Mikan was happy, everything including the his parents' nags would be worth it.

"Do you want to go home now?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "What about you? Do you want to go home now?"

"I want to stay here a little longer."

Her facial features softened as she relaxes her shoulders, letting herself to enjoy the final moment of the evening seaside breeze with him. "Me too."

Straightening her neck, she leaned her back against the back rest and closed her eyes. If this moment could last longer...

If the sun could remain this warm and pinkish-bright...

If they could stay like this for another hour...

If Natsume had been in her life since ages ago...

If...

"Sa... ku... ra..."

Her eyes flew open automatically upon hearing Natsume's breathy gasps. She turned to him and reached out to his trembling shoulder. Natsume clutched onto his collar and started pulling it as he leaned his body backward. He looked pained and that scared her because she did not know what was going on.

The only thought that struck her was that he was going to leave her.

That could not happen. Never could she let it happen.

"Hold on, Hyuuga! I will shout for help!"

"Sa... ku..." Natsume gasped again and looked at her worried face at the corner of his eyes. "Ra..."

His right hand reached out to grab her extended arm and weakly pulled her towards him. Then, he let out a cough. Mikan frowned. The cough sounded heavy, more like choking sound. Just then, she knew what was happening to him and began to panic even more.

"Somebody! Help!" she screamed at the top of her voice while the grip on her arm tightened. "Save my friend! He can't breath! Please help him!"

As the coughing sound next to her became louder and heavier, she became more desperate and the only thing she could do was to look for people herself. She gently patted Natsume's hand which was gripping tightly on her arm and she pulled away from his grasp. With a push backward, she reversed and made a turn towards a couple who was just happened to walk out of a bicycle rental shop located quite a distance away from her.

"I'll be right back," she said to him and headed towards the couple for help.

Still gasping for air, Natsume tried to hold onto her wheelchair so as to prevent her to move away from him. He did not want her to leave him. Even as he was to take his last breath at the seaside, he wanted her by his side. Seeing her figure move beyond his reach, tears welled up in his eyes and his vision slowly faded to total darkness.

The last sound he heard was not his gasps, but a sharp cry of help by Mikan.

-:-:-:-

_-1996-_

His eyes loomed across the room that was filled with mysteriously complex words and weird looking models. He recognised one of the models to be the heart while the other model on the doctor's messy desk to be a pair of lungs. He lowered his head and looked at the female doctor scribbling something down on a rectangular placard. His father was sitting next to him with a bothered look as he gently carrassed his son's head. Judging by how disturbed his father was, Natsume knew that nothing good would be coming out of the doctor's mouth. Finally, the doctor put down her pen and looked at Natsume's father with a straight face.

She spoke, "Natsume's lung muscles are weak. He needs therapy."

"Therapy... you mean, more therapy?" his father sounded mildly shocked. "Therapy for his lungs? Is there such a thing?"

"There is. Shinwa National Hospital offer weekly therapy sessions for patients with SMA. Mainly on maintaining the strength of their lung muscles. Because his lung muscles are already weak, I suggest you to ensure that he doesn't come in contact with the sick. Wear a mask if necessary."

"What will my son be doing in that therapy?"

"Breathing and coughing."

Both Natsume and his father stared at her quizzically.

Seeming to have read their minds, the doctor remained a straight face and added, "Learning how to cough properly... and do you know that coughing can help to develop lung muscles?"

Natsume's eyes widened in surprise and he turned to his father. "Does it?"

"Eh... ah..." his father stuttered in panic as he slowly turned to the doctor instead. "Does it?"

"It does," the doctor replied. "There's a higher chance of Natsume having lung infection too, which is extremely fatal. Attending the therapy session does not reduce the risk of getting it but the therapy can help to... increase his life span."

"I get it. May you excuse me for a moment? I need to speak to my wife about this matter."

The doctor finally smiled and little Natsume found it charming and warm. "Sure, Mr Hyuuga."

-:-:-:-

_-2003-_

"You! You little...!"

"Calm down!"

The woman pushed her husband away and pointed at Mikan. "That girl destroyed him! She destroyed my son!"

Mikan shuddered at the cold stare Natsume's mother was giving her. It was her fault. Everything was her fault. If only she had rejected him, nothing would happen to him. The woman grabbed her collar and tried to yank her upwards but her weak trembling pair of hands had failed her. Instead, she shook her back and forth, crying hysterically.

"What have you done to him?! Give me back Natsume!" she cried.

Mikan lowered her head, tears flowing out of her eyes as she allowed herself being shook like a ragged doll. Her happiest day turned out to be Natsume's downfall. She was the one who caused his suffering and she could not do anything to save him.

The legless Mikan was still useless.

"I'm sorry..." she muttered in a shaky voice. "Mrs Hyuuga... I'm very sorry."

"Being sorry doesn't save Natsume!" Natsume's mother shrieked and stopped shaking Mikan. "Do you know?"

Mikan began to sob loudly, so as the woman in front of her. Natsume's father looked at Mikan bitterly but when he caught her staring back at him, he looked down to avoid her gaze.

"Do you know?" the woman started again after taking a short breather. "What will happen to him if he has a lung infection?"

Mikan slowly shook her head, gulping in fear. She knew the answer but sometimes, it would be best if she feigned ignorance. Ignorance could get her out of trouble most of the time.

"You don't know, right?"

She knew. Before that, she didn't know. But after seeing Natsume become unconscious from the attack, she had come to know it.

"Natsume..."

_Don't say it._

"... he..."

_Please don't say what will happen to him._

"... will..."

_I don't want to know..._

"... leave..."

_Because I'll be hurt..._

"... us!"

_No..._

Mikan felt herself being shook rapidly again. Her tears continued to spill from her swollen eyes as the thought of Natsume dying kept playing in her mind. She wanted to carry on playing with the game of denial like she did earlier but since Natsume's mother had said it, she had to quit denying the fact that he was leaving her.

He saved her life but she could not do anything to save him. Such a pathetic girl she was.

Just then, the doctors stepped out of the surgical ward and greeted the father. It was probably a blessing from God that Natsume had survived, said one of the doctors.

Natsume's mother let go of Mikan and rushed to her husband's side. The couple thanked the doctors for their hard work and embraced each other, crying in each other's arms and saying how it was a miracle to have Natsume survived from the lung infection. Feeling extremely relief, Mikan covered her mouth and cried silently. She was glad that Natsume was fine and she could not be anymore glad than this.

"Can we see Natsume?" Natsume's father asked the doctors.

"Sure. But one person at a time."

Natsume's mother released her husband and followed a doctor into the surgical ward. As the rest of the doctors left, only Natsume's father and Mikan was left behind outside the surgical ward. Mikan wanted to see Natsume badly but his father had made it impossible for her to see him.

With a cold gaze down at her, he said in a low but soft voice, "Leave."

Mikan knitted her eyebrows, refusing to listen him. Couldn't he let her see him at least once?

"I want to see Hyuuga," she insisted.

The man knitted his eyebrows too. Somehow, when Mikan saw the look on his face, she knew that she should not press on any further. Her hands rested on the wheels, getting ready to leave, but the man spoke again.

"For the sake of Natsume and us..."

Mikan started moving her wheelchair forward and moved past the man.

"... please don't see him again."

Her hands stopped. She had to urge to turn around and looked at the man behind her, but she had no idea what kind of facial expression she should make. Should she make a sad one? Or should she make an angry one? Rather, should she remain a poker-face?

Deciding that she would just pretend to ignore his words, she moved forward, away from Natsume's father. After making a left turn to the lobby where he could not see her anymore, Mikan relaxed her shoulders and lowered her head, allowing her tears to fall onto the blanket around her lap.

"Hyuuga..." her voice came out high-pitched, like that of a mouse squeaking his name. "Hyuuga... I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She wanted to see him badly and apologised to him face-to-face as soon as he woke up. Maybe he could forgive her. Maybe he would continue to look at her with those 'gentle' eyes. Though he always switched to the 'I-don't-really-care-much' mood as soon he caught her staring at him, she could detect gentleness in his eyes most of the time. Maybe he would give her a small smile and assure her that everything was fine. Maybe they could be good friends again. How she wished she could turn around and barge into the ward... As her grips around the wheels tightened, she had chosen to do something that could possibly endanger their friendship. She might as well risk it so that she could protect Natsume and herself.

So, she left... for that day.

-:-:-:-

_-1996-_

Mikan felt like vomiting. She had not been eating for days but she was not even hungry. She sat on the floor where she could see many children, both younger and older ones, playing catch in the piazza. Their caregivers sat at the side, observing the children's play and feeding the toddlers with porridge. Bringing her knees to her chest, Mikan rested her chin on her knees and rocked back and forth to ease her discomfort. At times like this, her mother would call her to lay upwards and she would feel her mother's warm hands rubbing her little tummy with medicated oil while humming a weird melody which she believed could make her tummy feel better. No matter how weird the melody was, she would recover from her gastric problems like magic.

Just then, a caregiver called her name and Mikan stopped rocking. She tilted her head upwards and stared blankly at the smiling caregiver with a baby in her arms.

The caregiver asked, "Mikan, do you want to join your friends there?"

Mikan looked at the children who were playing catch and shook her head. Nothing had interested her ever since she stepped into the smelly place which she swore that smelt just as bad as a one star hospital. Not even the large play area at the backyard could interest her. She doubted that she had the energy to run about anyway. What she did not understand ever since she entered into this place was how those children could smile so happily that being orphans was not the worst thing in the world. She missed her parents badly. Her mental images of them were slowly fading away and she had nothing to remind her of their comforting faces.

"Then, would you like some food?" the caregiver asked again.

Mikan shook her head again. The caregiver furrowed her eyebrows, looking worried. Mikan quietly stood up, dusted her baggy shorts and walked towards the lavatory. Her little feet felt weak as if they had no strength left to carry her body. What could she expect when she hadn't eaten for days? She would always secretly give whatever food in her bowl to other children who were still hungry. The only thing she survived on was a cup of plain milk every morning. She just had to drink it to quench her thirst after she had woken up.

She walked past the kitchen and stopped at a familiar aroma. It smelt like her father's dark soy sauce chicken. For the first time of her stay, she finally smelt something comforting and fragrant. It felt as if she was back home again. She spun around and stood at the entrance of the kitchen as her nausea slowly ceased, watching the two caregiver-cooks stir-fry the dark soy sauce chicken and broccoli in two big separate woks. How she wished she could sink her teeth in the chicken flesh and savour the dark soy sauce. Unknowingly, her saliva trickled down her chin at the thought of eating.

"Do you know that girl?" one of the ladies in the kitchen spoke up, unaware of Mikan's presence at the doorway.

"Who?"

"Mikan Sakura."

Mikan snapped back to reality.

"Ah... Little Mikan. She hasn't been eating. I wonder if she's still thinking of her parents."

"I feel sad for her. To witness the final moments of her parents... she must be traumatised."

"She doesn't smile, does she?"

"She doesn't even play with other kids."

"Poor child."

_Smile..._

She had not forgotten how to do it; she had nothing left to smile for. As she felt the sudden need to fight her hunger pangs, she dragged her little feet into the kitchen and gently tugged the cooks' aprons, startling the two adults.

"Mikan! What are you doing here?" one of them exclaimed with a welcoming smile. "Are you hungry?"

"She must be," another cook spoke as she squatted and began caressing Mikan's wet chin. "Look at her. She must be so hungry."

"Mikan, do you want some chickens?"

Mikan's eyes lit up in delight. Of course, she wanted the chicken! She needed dozens as soon as possible!

The cook who was touching Mikan's cheek laughed. "Isn't she cute? She wants the dark soy sauce chickens. Give her four cooked ones for now."

"Alright! Give her some broccolis!"

"The broccolis haven't softened yet. Just give her chickens only for now."

The cook picked up a small bowl and began hunting for small chicken wings which could be cooked faster than the bigger ones. She put six chicken wings into the bowl and poured some dark soy sauce over them. Then, she handed the bowl to Mikan who was staring intently at the wok that was filled with chickens.

"There, there, Little Mikan. Have a good lunch!" the cook said. "After that, you will have lots of energy to play with your friends."

Mikan did not respond to her words, instead she snatched the bowl of chickens and bowed to the cooks two times gratefully before running clumsily out of the kitchen. She settled on the floor right outside the kitchen and took two chicken wings.

It was now or never, she mentally screamed before sinking her milk teeth into the piping hot flesh. Well, the hot could never bother her as long as she was dead hungry. Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly chewed the flesh and savoured the chicked flavoured soy sauce. Although the chickens were not as tasty as her father's cooking, she felt herself teleport back to her former home.

At this moment, she wanted to smile... Smile for herself as the memories of love resurfaced, allowing her to clearly remember her parents' smiley faces once again.

-:-:-:-

_-2003-_

Mikan opened the door and entered into the staffs' office. The caregiver who had cooked the dark soy sauce chickens seven years ago noticed her presence and stood up from her chair. The caregiver had aged as her fine white hairs were noticeable from far and there were faint wrinkles next to her eyes.

"Little Mikan, what happened?" she asked worriedly upon seeing Mikan's tear-stained face. "Did your classmates bully you?"

"I wanted to smile for a friend... He's my only friend," Mikan said in between sobs. "But if I do, he might hate me."

"Why would he hate you? He's your friend, right?"

"Because I hurt him. Because of me, he nearly died!" Mikan cried. "I was told not to see him but I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose anyone anymore! For whom should I smile when everyone leaves me?"

"Do you know, Mikan?" The caregiver stood in front of Mikan and squatted to her eye level. "Love is an amazing thing. We don't smile just for the sake of doing so. We smile because we're happy. Because we feel loved. Just like you, Mikan, you smile for the people you love and who love you. Those people who reject you for who you are now are blind to your love but nevertheless..."

The caregiver poked Mikan's forehead affectionately and smiled gently.

"... don't ever stop smiling for them because they still need your love."

* * *

**Sorry again for the long update! I actually had this chapter prepared a few months ago but I have no time to proofread it. Instead, I went to focus on my other two fanfictions. So sorry! **

**But thank you for your patience! :)**

**Also, thank you for reviewing, favouriting and following this story! And thanks for all the encouragement and support as well!**

**Special thanks to the reviewers:**

**\- Crazy Shortie:** _Thank you. __On the other hand, my current specialisation is in Early Intervention for children with special needs. I did two projects on SMA so I have some knowledge on it. :)_  
**\- Eka19:** _Thank you! ^ ^  
_**\- XNatsumeXMikanX:** _I'm so sorry that I didn't update sooner!  
_**\- Yoshida Haru:** _Nice sarcasm. Even though this is fictional, there are real people out there behaving like those so-called friends in this story._**  
\- Anilissa:** _Thank you! Haha... my writing is just normal. I am still a novice in the art of writing. ^ ^_


	5. 5th Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

_-2013-_

"His favourite person, other than his family members? A pretty tough question, don't you think so?"

"I don't want to sound confident but I think I know who her favourite person is."

"After spending ten years with him, I kind of know the answer to the question. I think his favourite person is..."

"Her favourite person is..."

_"Me."_

* * *

5th Wheel

_-2006-_

"Mikan Sakura."

Mikan raises her hand and answered in a loud voice, "Present."

"Oh yes, I need to speak to you after homeroom," her homeroom teacher said. "To sign a form regarding about your disability."

Mikan smiled and nodded with a short reply, "Okay!"

"Alright... that's all for now." The teacher kept her attendance sheet and faced her new students with a welcoming beam. "Finally, as your homeroom teacher, let me wish you a healthy and an interesting journey in high school. You all are no longer middle school students, so gone were the days when you still think that you have a long way to go to actually decide what kind of life you want in the future. You have left three more years to decide and I, as your teacher, will guide you to your success."

Mikan rested her head on her palms and looked up into space, thinking very hard about her future. With two less limbs, what could she become? What could she do? What would her future be? She had lost so many things within an instant when her legs were gone. But this adversity had a few gains in her life. She had discovered that having many friends might not be a good thing. The ones who stayed by her side throughout the painful process were her true friends. They were no other than her precious caregivers and Natsume Hyuuga.

"Sorry, I'm late!"

The door suddenly slid open and a girl with short jet-black hair burst into the classroom. She was perspiring profusely, looking as if she had ran all the way to school. Well, she must have been since she was late for school. Much worse, it was her first day of high school.

"Hotaru Imai, am I right?" the teacher asked the girl.

Nodding, the girl walked into the classroom and scanned for any empty seat. Luckily, there was an empty seat... which was in front of Mikan. Upon seeing the empty seat, she walked calmly towards the desk and gently placed her bag on it. Her eyes darted to the side and she caught a glimpse of a wheelchair bound person. In that instant, her eyes widened in surprise but immediately went back to normal as she looked back to the front. Her action did not go unnoticed by Mikan but that did not hurt her at all. Instead, she just smiled at the jet-black haired girl in front of her, thinking that any normal person would have the same reaction after seeing her in a wheelchair but at least she did not mock her like the others did. At most, the jet-black haired girl had just found her peculiar.

The girl sat down and the homeroom teacher scolded her for being late on the first day of school. After that, the teacher left and their main lessons officially started while Mikan's mind began to drift off.

-:-:-:-

_-2003-_

The clock was ticking away. Time had flown so fast that she swore that time had forsaken him. He was still lying on the hospital bed, breathing away and sleeping silently. His heart was beating rather slowly, indirectly telling her that he had a peaceful sleep. For a millionth time, she prayed that he would open his eyes one day but her prayer had not been fulfilled yet. His eyes had been closed for a week and he was still unconscious.

She was so worried that he could not wake up anymore, so worried that his slow heart beat would pause for the longest time ever, so worried that she could never see him again, so worried... _so worried_...

If only she had rejected his crazy idea about skipping classes and hanging out at the beach, he would not have experienced that life-threatening situation and be lying here in the hospital bed.

"Sakura-san," a voice behind her whispered softly.

She turned her head to the side and looked at a nurse standing by the doorway at the corner of her eyes. The nurse knitted her eyebrows together and crossed her two index fingers, creating an 'X'.

"His parents are here now?" she asked the nurse and the nurse nodded anxiously.

Oh great. She had to leave soon before his parents caught her in his ward. She gave one last look at his serene face and gently caressed his cheek before making her way towards the door where the nurse was standing. The nurse pushed her wheelchair out of the ward and towards the opposite direction of where his parents were coming from. It was the best way to avoid them and anyway, the nurse could lead her out of the hospital easily with a simple detour.

When the nurse took her to the lobby, both of them let out a sigh of relief due to the fact that they had escaped smoothly, and the nurse asked, "How long are you going to hide from Hyuuga's parents? That you're constantly visiting and all..."

"As long as I can."

"Honestly, it is painful for me to see you always running away when they arrive," the nurse added sadly, earning a puzzled look from the wheelchair bound girl in front of her.

"Why?"

"Because Hyuuga and Sakura are friends."

"So..."

The nurse smiled bitterly. "And I can see it, feel it. You're trying to protect this friendship at all cost."

The young girl fell silent for awhile before chuckling away. The nurse gave her an awkward look, feeling a little confused by her sudden outburst of soft laughter. The young girl stifled her laugh and stared sheepishly at the nurse.

"It's more than that," the girl stated with a smile. "What drives me to come here everyday without fail, avoid his parents no matter what, tell him stories when I have no idea if he was even listening and so on is my love for them. I want to protect them and their feelings..."

The elevator doors opened, revealing an empty cubicle with four glass walls which reflected both the ladies. Upon seeing her reflection on the glass wall in front of her, the young girl closed her eyes and smiled wider.

She whispered softly but loud enough to be heard by the nurse behind her, "... because I love Natsume Hyuuga."

-:-:-:-

_-2006-_

It was finally lunch time. Many of her classmates left the classroom while a few of them, including her, were left in the classroom with home-packed lunches on their desks. Some of the students seemed to have known one another as they got together and sat down at the back of the classroom to have their meals. There were two shy girls headed towards the group and asked if they could join them for lunch. Another bashful looking male student made a small nice comment on their home-packed lunches and almost immediately, he was told to join in their circle. Just like that, friendships were born... so easily.

Mikan wanted to join them and made new friends but the thought of them making fun of her deterred her from taking a step forward. Putting this making-friends matter aside, she untied her lunchbox wrapper and placed the lunchbox on her desk. She opened the lid and brought her nose closer to her favourite dark soy sauce chicken wings. It had been two months since the caregivers had last made these for her. She bent her body forward and reached out to her bag which was sitting on the floor next to her desk, trying to get her hand sanitiser from the small pouch that was hanging on a zip. Holding her breath, she leaned forward even more, balanced herself with the support of her desk and then she swung her right hand downward. Unfortunately, much to her dismay, her middle finger barely touched the side of the pouch. She brought her hand upward again and swung it downward, only to have her fingers brushing against the rough texture of her little pink pouch.

Just then, a pair of fair hands appeared within Mikan's line of vision. The hands effortlessly unhooked the pouch from the bag and the pouch was brought nearer to Mikan's own right hand. Mikan was stunned for a moment, mentally processing the sudden proximity of a stranger and her. Never in her life as a handicapped had she been approached so 'casually' to help her out. Only Natsume Hyuuga and her caregivers were the one who dared to approach her. This fair stranger had to be a girl, judging by how slim and tender her hands looked. Mikan grabbed her pouch and looked up with a smile as she was about to thank the fair skinned person. But her smile immediately faltered when she noticed who the person was after taking a good look at her face.

It was that latecomer with short jet-black hair. It was that girl who had shot her with a surprised look earlier.

"Thank... you..." Mikan managed to speak.

"You're welcome," the girl muttered softly and glanced away.

As Mikan took out a bottle of hand sanitiser out of her pouch, the jet-black haired girl suddenly placed her lunchbox on Mikan's desk, dragged her chair towards her desk and sat beside Mikan without saying a word. Stealing a glimpse of the girl, Mikan wondered if she was trying to have lunch with her just because she was alone. She appreciated her kind gesture if that was the case but she did not need her pity. She did not need anyone to pity her. She only needed true friends who could understand her and treat her well like a normal being.

The jet-black haired girl opened her lunchbox and glanced at Mikan again. Her eyebrows furrowed upon seeing Mikan's stare which seemed to be filled with suspicion. Immediately, the girl relaxed her eyebrows and started to speak.

"Your chicken wings smell nice. I'm sure it will taste great with rice. Look what I have..." The girl pointed at the orange balls in her own lunchbox. "I have carrot balls for lunch. Do you want some?"

Mikan forced a smile and shook her head politely. "No thanks..."

"Carrot is high in Vitamin C. Have one," the girl continued and used her chopsticks to pick up a carrot ball.

"I don't..."

"Here." The girl dropped the carrot ball into Mikan's lunchbox. "I have a lot of carrot balls anyway."

Mikan's gaze dropped to the huge orange ball which was tainted with the dark soy sauce. She did not know what to say. She could not reject this carrot ball either because it was already in her lunchbox.

"You don't like carrot?"

With a faint blush on her cheeks, Mikan looked up again and stammered a reply, "N... No. I li... like ca... carrot."

The girl's lip curled upwards a little at her response but was quickly returned back to normal as if nothing had just happened. She clapped her hands twice and said her grace before digging in. Mikan eyed at her awkwardly as the girl sank her teeth into a ball without seeming to care about her anymore. Perhaps this girl had no ill intention after all.

Plucking up her courage, Mikan cleared her throat and said, "Thank you..."

"My name is Hotaru Imai," the girl interjected.

"Ah, Imai, thank you for the carrot ball. Would you... like a chicken wing?" Mikan offered with a beam.

"No thanks."

As the girl continued chewing her food with her eyes closed, Mikan's smile dropped again. Why did it seem like this jet-black haired girl, Hotaru Imai, was a 'seasonal' person? She went from 'cold' to 'warm', then back to 'cold' again. It was hard to understand her intentions. Putting that thought aside, Mikan picked up the carrot ball with her chopsticks and and took a small bite of it. Surprisingly, the carrot ball was soft although it tasted slightly bland. Hotaru had probably boiled it for so long that it became soft and lost its original sweetness.

"How is it?" Hotaru asked monotonously.

Mikan hesitated for awhile before replying with a forced smile, "Nice..."

"Is it?" Hotaru looked mildly surprise by her response. "I made these by the way."

"Really? That's cool! How do you make these?"

"I boiled the carrots, then I carved them into smaller balls like this," she explained as she picked up another carrot ball and held it before Mikan. "Have another one."

Before Mikan could say anything, Hotaru dropped the carrot ball into Mikan's lunchbox again. With a small smile of satisfaction, Hotaru resumed eating. Meanwhile, Mikan was staring at the carrot ball, not knowing whether she should think that this girl was trying hard to be nice to her or it was her cold and impulsive personality that made her seem so weird.

Oh well, it was better than being alone on the first day of school. If only Natsume was here with her...

-:-:-:-

The bell rang, signalling the end of the long and tiring school hours. After the teacher had left the classroom with two written homework given out to the students, everyone was complaining among themselves how ridiculous the teacher was to give them homework on the first day of school. The first homework was to write an essay about the major disaster which happened two years before and had taken the lives of many people in Japan and other countries in Asia.

The Tsunami of 2004.

Mikan could remember the scary event so clearly in her mind that she started to shiver at the thought of people being washed away and sinking down to the bottom of the ocean, breathless. After the devastating disaster, she could no longer see one of her so-called friends anymore. Her body could not be found by the rescue team from all over the world and Mikan remembered crying for days upon knowing that her so-called friend was not only missing, but was already dead. Though that girl had never truly treated Mikan like a friend, Mikan still loved her and had missed her ever since. The Tsunami of 2004 was truly a period of emotional struggle for her and the people around her as they had continued to mourn for the dead and the missing bodies months after the disaster.

The rest of the homework were just normal pieces of worksheets that had multiple choice questions, mostly testing her foundation in the subjects. Well, Mikan had thrown some concepts back to her middle school teachers over her long holiday before high school started for her. It was normal anyway. She bet that other students had also forgotten some things which they had learnt before.

After packing her bag, Mikan left the classroom and headed towards the elevator. On the wall next to the sliding doors of the elevator, there was an A3 poster which stated: Notice! The use of the elevator is for the teachers and the handicapped only.

Mikan smiled to herself upon seeing the notice from the student council and the principal, knowing that she did not have to fight for the usage with the other typical students. Just when she was about to press the button, an hand suddenly appeared from behind her and the person's index finger pushed the button down. The button lit.

Judging by the position of the hand and where it came from, it was obviously a typical person who had pressed the elevator button. Could it be a teacher? Since typical students could not use the elevator, it had to be a teacher. Anyway, she had to be gracious and thanked whoever he or she was, even if the person was a student.

Mikan tried to turn her head to the back and said, "Thank..."

She paused and stared at a familiar face in surprise.

"Imai?"

"I thought you needed help," the jet-black haired girl muttered with a still face. "If you are still having doubts, I must say that I have seen the poster on the wall this morning."

Not knowing what she was talking about, Mikan cracked an awkward smile. "Imai, I didn't doubt you..."

"Just in case... because we can quite skeptical of others' actions," Hotaru interjected. "Human nature."

Mikan felt her right eyebrow twitched. She really had no idea what Hotaru was saying. What kind of doubts she was referring to?

"Ah... thank you for helping me to press the button," Mikan said.

Hotaru kept silent for a moment before breaking the silence with a soft 'hm' sound.

Then, she added, "Which storey? I can help you to press the button later too..."

"No, it's okay! Really." Mikan smiled kindly at her as she began to sense a warm feeling filling her own chest. "I can do it myself. Thank you."

"Really?"

_This warm feeling..._

"Yup! Thanks, Imai!"

"If you say so."

"Goodbye!"

"Yeah, bye. See you tomorrow... Sakura."

As she saw Hotaru walking away from her, Mikan placed her left hand on her chest and tears slowly welled up in her eyes. She was neither sad nor angry. It was just that she was finally and slowly understanding how _he_ had always perceived her. In an environment where no one accepted people like her, someone had actually reached out to her, albeit in a subtle way.

_... she wondered if Natsume had felt this warm feeling in his chest too when she had helped him to press the elevator button for the first time._

-:-:-:-

The doors slid open, revealing a familiar looking person on the other side. Her heart nearly stopped upon seeing his face which she had missed so much. Who would have thought that he would be here in front of her?

"So, you're studying here?" she started a conversation with him without moving out from the elevator.

He gave her a weird look as he slowly pulled the hem of his blazer. "Do I look like I'm not?"

She chuckled. Of course, he didn't! She was just surprised. Plain surprised to see him again after so long. If only she had bothered to ask for permission to use the telephone at the orphanage, she would have contacted him daily and discovered the 'secret school' which he had been trying to hide from her before the school holiday had started.

"So, the 'secret school' is this high school, huh? Just because I told you I would be attending here?" she said with a small smirk on her face.

The boy opposite her rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath, which went unheard by her. Slightly offended, she leaned forward a little and gave him a glare.

"Hey! What's with that attitude?"

Then, he smiled at her much to her surprise once again and said, "Meet you at the ground floor. Both of us can't squeeze into this small thing, can we?"

She could not believe it. He had just changed the subject. How smooth, she mentally grimaced. With a tongue stuck out of her mouth playfully, she reached her hand out to press the small button that had the numeral '1' engraved on it.

As the doors were closing again, he raised his hand to his mid-chest and waved slowly to her.

"See you later," she heard him saying in the midst of the beeping sound coming from the speaker in the elevator before the doors were closed. "Mikan."

-:-:-:-

_-2005-_

"Hey, why are you always in the first class?"

"You're asking the obvious, Sakura."

Mikan pouted. Natsume's results were always great, far better than hers in many subjects. The only subject she did well in, but not as good as him, was Japanese Literature. She looked away from him with a blush and chewed on her lips shyly. She wanted to ask him if he could tutor her but it would be selfish for her to do so. His parents still disliked her and she doubted that they would even allow their son to mingle with her. Their friendship was a secret. They would meet at the most quiet area in the school where no one would spot them together and when Natsume's parents did not accompany him throughout the day.

"If you need any help in your homework... you can approach me."

Mikan turned to look at him again with wide eyes. Her blush deepened. She quickly shook her head, brushing off her happy thoughts of him tutoring her after their classes.

She put on a sulky look and said to him, "Thank you, but I'm afraid that your parents wouldn't like this idea."

"They won't mind," he denied, waving his hand at her. "I will explain to them if they're being hard to please."

"No. Don't." Mikan stared hard at him. "I don't want to complicate things."

"You won't complicate things, Sakura. It has already been... so long... since I..."

Mikan reached out her hand and touched his thin hand. Shaking her head, she smiled and let go of his hand. She was already grateful for his kind offer but she could not accept it. Until the day his parents forgave her, she would not bargain any more from Natsume, other than secretly spending time with each other.

Perhaps if she had to bargain anything from him, it would be...

"Call me by my first name."

Natsume stared wide-eyed at her. For a moment, he thought that he had heard her wrongly. But at the same time, he wished that he had not. He had always wanted to call her 'Mikan' but the word 'Sakura' always spilled out of his mouth due to embarrassment. Mikan would either be embarrassed as well or be a little shocked if he took the initiative to call her by her first name. Well, the truth was, he was shocked that she was the one who had prompted him first. So, he decided to make use of this chance to be closer to her.

"Sunflower."

"Huh?" Mikan frowned, confused by what he had called her.

"You don't like that?"

"My first name! My first name! Mi-ka-n."

"Sun."

"Mi-ka-n!"

"It's the same," he said dully.

"It's not! Come on!"

"Both look the same."

"Fine then. If you're not going to say it, I will." Mikan crossed her arms as a blush slowly made its way to her cheeks. "Natsume."

Natsume sighed softly. He swore that his heart had officially stopped but what kept him alive and breathing was her warm presence. She filled him with so much happiness and sunshine that he wished that she could stay by his side forever. Such dream was indeed ridiculous for a person like him, but a young lad like him could at least wish for the impossible, right? With a smile, he signaled Mikan to come closer to him, and she did. She leaned slightly forward with her head tilted a little so that her ear was closer to his face. He stared at her auburn brown hair which was reflecting the golden rays of the blazing sun, trying to suppress the urge to run his fingers through her hair.

He cleared his throat and whispered, "Too close."

The brunette immediately apologised and moved her body back a little, but was stopped by Natsume who took this moment to defy his defiant mouth.

"Mikan."

Upon hearing how perfect her name sounded with his soft voice, she swore that her heart had stopped as well. Even Natsume whose heart had 'stopped' long ago had his breath taken away... once again.

* * *

**Hello everyone! I'm back after so long. I am really sorry for updating this chapter late again. (o_o)"**

**To make this author's note short, let's give some thanks to the reviewers of the previous chapter:**

**\- **Anilissa  
**\- **AnimeMango_  
_**\- **chewybillabong_  
_**\- **Jack**  
\- **usagisakura14

**Thank you to those who have also reviewed, favourited and followed this story! You all have made my day!**

**Oh wait! Before I end this note, let me wish you all a blessed (belated) Christmas and a happy new year! 2016 will be a great year, I hope! :)**


	6. 6th Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

_-2013-_

"Say one thing which I want to demand from him? Do I really have to say it? He will probably see me as a weird person if I say that."

"Your question is, say one thing which I want in my life. I'm going to be seen as crazy and she's going to laugh if she hears me... But there's no harm saying it... right?"

"Please live... for me."

"I want to live for her happiness."

* * *

6th Wheel

_-2006-_

Natsume swore to himself that his relationship with Mikan had taken a drastic turn on the first day of high school. Upon reaching the ground level which they had promised to meet each other, he caught her with someone else. That person was a girl with a pixie haircut. Her hair was as dark as midnight, just like his. Her skin was porcelain white, as if she had never walked under the sun before. Even Mikan who spent most of her time indoors was tanner than her.

As he moved closer to the two ladies, he overheard their short conversation by mistake. It was a simple conversation that went like this:

"I see you again," said the fair girl.

"Yeah." Mikan smiled kindly at the girl in front of her and lowered her head politely. "Thanks for helping me to call for the elevator."

The girl kept her poker-faced and said, "You're welcome."

"Are you heading home now?"

"Nope. I'm going to the mini-mart," replied that poker-faced girl.

"Oh!" Mikan grinned cheerily at her reply. "You're buying groceries!"

"Just carrots."

Mikan's grin disappeared as she gave the girl a slightly disgusted look which was not that obvious to the eyes of many. Only Natsume knew how she would look like when she was trying hard to hide her emotions since he had seen her doing so many times in front of him. Seeming to be ignorant of Mikan' subtle expression, the girl closed her eyes and smirked.

"I'm going to make more carrot balls," she muttered in a dull voice. "You have to eat them tomorrow, alright?"

Natsume's eyes widened in puzzlement and disgust. Who in the world eat carrot balls? What were they actually? Were they just carrots? Was Mikan being forced to eat such disgusting things? No wonder the brunette had her grin wiped off!

Just as he was about to jump in between the ladies and save Mikan, he heard her cheery voice again which made him halt, "Okay, Imai! I shall look forward to them tomorrow!"

His eyes darted left and right repeatedly as he stared at them in disbelief. He was not sure what was going on anymore but he was starting to be suspicious of the girl called Imai. He knew that Mikan was cautious of her, judging by how she had responded to her words. But she seemed so happy when she had said that she was looking forward to her carrot balls. Natsume then decided to remain still and looked cautiously at the 'Imai' girl.

Just then, the girl tilted her head a little to her left side and her eyes rested on him. Their gazes met for the first time. Both faces seemed to be voided with emotions as they stared at each other for a few seconds. To Natsume, these few seconds felt like eternity because the more he looked at her, the more he began to dislike her. She looked conceited, like from those well-off family background with no difficulties of any sort. This girl could never understand him. Neither could she understand Mikan.

"There's someone behind you," the girl said to Mikan as she pointed at him.

Mikan's eyes widened again and another beam spread across her face. "Ah! It must be Natsume!"

With that said, she reversed her wheelchair a little and made a small turn so that her side was facing him. She turned her head and looked happily at Natsume, giving him the biggest smile she could do for him. Natsume shifted his gaze from the 'Imai' girl to Mikan. His heart nearly stopped. Her smile which was as radiant as sunshine had always affected him so much that he would dream of it in his lowest and painful moments.

"Your friend?" the girl asked Mikan.

Mikan turned to her and gave a quick nod. "Yes! He's Natsume Hyuuga."

"Oh... Hi," the girl gave a soft acknowledgement as she nodded at the boy in front of her.

Natsume narrowed his eyes at her and muttered in a soft voice too, "Hello."

"Err... She's Hotaru Imai," Mikan added awkwardly as she thought that Hotaru would at least introduce herself or Natsume would at least attempt to ask for her name.

Knowing the two of them, they would find themselves better off staring quietly at each other without any emotion, just like what they were doing since earlier. Mikan looked at the two of them again, hoping to see some responses generated from their mouths but the silence between the two emotionally voided people sank deep into Mikan.

Mikan furrowed her eyebrows at Natsume and said in a soft voice, "Greet her by her name!"

His eyes darted to the left and narrowed his eyes at Mikan. As if giving off a certain defiance which irritated Mikan nevertheless, he stuck his lower lip outwards a little and kept his silence.

"Natsume!"

Natsume cringed and glared at Mikan. "She also didn't call me by my name."

Her jaw dropped slightly in response. She did not know if she should laugh or scold him for being petty. Her shoulders dropped and she hung her head low in defeat. Perhaps these two people could somehow acknowledge each other without having to talk to each other, Mikan thought to herself. Just then, she felt a light pull on her blouse and she turned around to face Natsume.

"Yes?"

"We promise to catch up with each other."

"Oh, yes! I didn't forget!" Mikan exclaimed as she beamed.

Of course, she wouldn't forget. She had so much to say to him and she had missed him so much.

As Mikan bade goodbye to the fair girl and moved away, Natsume narrowed his eyes at the girl behind Mikan's back while the girl stared back blankly at him. Just when he was about to open his mouth to warn the girl not to do anything funny to Mikan, he heard Mikan's slightly puzzled and irritated voice calling out his name.

He relaxed himself and averted his eyes away from the girl. Oh well, he was going to keep a lookout for his old dear friend from then on, just in case this "rich" fair girl was a backstabbing bully. All for his dearest friend, his naive and gullible sunflower.

-:-:-:-

He was not joking when he had said that his close relationship with Mikan was crushed by that girl named Hotaru Imai. That girl was hogging Mikan all day long in school, every single day. Of course, excluding weekends. She let Mikan eat carrot balls every lunch time and Mikan did not seem to reject the offer. Were the carrot balls really that nice? Every single break time, Mikan could be seen with Hotaru, sitting together in the school garden. Because Natsume and Mikan were from different classes, he was always late in snatching Mikan's attention away from Hotaru.

He was not jealous. He was just feeling worried that his sunshine would fade away in his life and never come back again. After finding out which high school she had wanted to apply, Natsume applied the same school as her without hesitation. With his good grades, he could have gotten into a better school. His parents were hesitant at first upon knowing that he wanted to study in a 'normal' high school but he managed to convince them that he would excel and be the top of the cohort if he studied with 'normal' students. He knew how to convince his parents and his tactics worked. As usual, he ended up in the first class due to his good grades while Mikan was always a few classes away from his due to her average grades.

"Natsume," he heard Mikan called out to him, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Come on! Join us!"

Natsume looked at the two girls who were staring back at him. They had finally noticed him after spending so much time chatting away. Putting his petty thoughts aside, he came out from his 'hiding' place which was behind the pillar and moved towards them. Hotaru was sitting on the bench while Mikan situated herself next to the bench, both sharing a lunchbox filled with carrot balls on Mikan's lap.

He stared hard at the bunch of small, pale orange balls in the lunch. Seriously, were carrot balls even nice to eat?

"Have some carrot balls, Natsume!" Mikan said cheerfully as she extended the lunchbox out to him.

He stopped right in front of the bench and remained silent, staring even harder at the carrot balls.

"Here, try some!"

He saw Mikan use a fork and break a carrot ball into smaller pieces. Then, she poked a small piece of the carrot with the fork and brought the carrot forward to him. He frowned and turned his head to the side, trying his best to avoid the carrot and show his displeasure over such extraordinary food.

"No, I don't want."

"Imai made these carrot balls. They're delicious!"

"I don't like carrots," he lied.

In fact, he liked carrots. Boiled carrots with tomato sauce were the best.

Refusing to believe his words, Mikan retorted, "But I've seen you eat carrots before!"

"You've mistaken."

Mikan frowned and withdrew the fork. She put the carrot piece into her mouth and started chewing it as she stared hard at him. She did not know what was up with him but he was not happy whenever she was with him. She was sure that she did not offend him since the start of the school year. So, what had made him so unhappy?

As she wondered silently to herself, Mikan looked down and stared sadly at the cooled carrot balls which she was getting too fond of.

-:-:-:-

Natsume held a small piece of paper in his small hand as he scanned around his class. 'Ruka Nogi' was written on it. He knew the student. They had never talked before and all he knew about the student was that he looked Caucasian, judging by his blonde hair and cerulean blue eyes, but his recent basic English test scored worse than Natsume's, surprisingly. He also heard that the student had the highest score in Japanese language back in his third year of middle school. This had reminded him not to judge the book by its cover.

The student was one of the popular students in his class. The uniqueness of his hair colour and eye colour were salient enough to capture the attention of everyone in the school. His smile was captivating to his female peers for sure. When he smiled, two small dimples would appear on both sides of his cheek. He was fair... just like Hotaru Imai.

"So, your partner is Ruka Nogi," a girl said aloud after she had stolen a glimpse at his paper. "Nogi! Your partner is Hyuuga!"

Natsume cringed. The girl's voice was sure loud, much worse when she was shouting across the classroom to call Ruka. However, thanks to her help, Natsume could finally find his partner. A blonde boy walked towards him with bright blue eyes which looked as if they were talking to him without the boy's verbalisation. His eyes seemed to say 'I am so happy to be partnered with you'. Natsume decided to disregard to strange the eye message and stared at him with the dullest look he could give him. Apparently, Ruka was not affected by his impassive treatment. Instead, he reached out to Natsume and held his small delicate hands, surprising Natsume with the close contact.

"Hyuuga, let's work hard together, okay? This mini-project is going to be fun!" Ruka said enthusiastically as he shook his hands gently.

"Okay," Natsume replied dully while his eyes focused on his hands which were gripped by Ruka's.

Unaware about the stare, Ruka let go of his hands and sat on a chair next to him. Afterwards, there was silence between them. Ruka was reading the project descriptor silently to himself while Natsume was staring into space, thinking of what to do for their project.

"Err... Don't you have to read?" he heard a soft male's voice next to him.

Natsume's eyes shifted to the corner of his eyes and he looked at Ruka.

"I have already done so."

Ruka's eyes widened in surprise as his mouth formed into a shape of an oval. Natsume looked back to the front with lips formed into a thin line. Again, the awkward silence built up between them. Ruka cleared his throat and looked at the project descriptor again. His eyes scanned the words over and over again, not knowing what to say to Natsume. His mind was blank, except for the worrisome thought on how to engage in a conversion with a reserved person like Natsume. Although he was popular among his classmates, he was not exactly an extrovert. He blushed very easily whenever a stranger approached him and even when he was caught in an embarrassing situation. He would stutter when many eyes fell on him. He would be at a lost of words when a bright and cheerful girl from the forth class greeted him with a 'hello' every morning whenever they alighted at the same bus stop. She was wheelchair-bounded and had a red and black checkered blanket covering the bottom half of her body. He had never had the chance to properly speak to her because he did not know how to speak normally with her. He was so afraid that his stutter would scare her away.

Ruka had always wanted to talk to Natsume but Natsume seemed to be the type of person who would push people away whenever they came too close to him. Being able to work with him in a class project was a great opportunity to befriend him, Ruka had initially thought to himself. He had attempted to brace himself and greeted Natsume with so much enthusiasm. But seeing his passive response, Ruka wondered if he had scared him away just like what he had feared.

He hesitantly stole a glance at Natsume to see what he was doing, but only to find him staring at him with a poker-face. Ruka felt himself blushing from the awkward stare.

"Are you done reading it? You sure take a long time," Natsume spoke dully.

Ruka gulped and quickly nodded.

"Do you have any idea?" Natsume asked.

The blonde student pursed his lips and stilled. Knowing that he had not think of an idea yet, Natsume let out a sigh and decided to share his idea instead. Ruka listened attentively, feeling slightly amazed that his partner could think of a good idea so quickly. Needless to say, there was a reason why Natsume was in the first class with an outstanding middle school final year examination results. He remembered their homeroom teacher had once asked Natsume why he had chosen to attend their school when he could have actually attended a better school nearby. However, Natsume's reply was that the school's environment and infrastructure were 'friendlier' than the better school. It was not really a surprise when he had answered that.

After Natsume was done explaining his idea, he asked Ruka, "Do you understand? If you don't like the idea, just say so."

Shaking his head, Ruka replied with a smile, "I understand and I think that the idea is good!"

"Okay."

Just like that, the short conversation died. The two of them looked at each other without saying a word until Ruka could not take the awkwardness anymore and decided to spill anything he could think of at that moment.

"I think that we can add on to the report by stating the effects," Ruka suggested without giving any thought to it.

It was so random that Ruka was afraid that it might sound ridiculous to his partner. Luckily, it sounded reasonable to a certain extent and Natsume gave some thoughts to it. Natsume took a pencil and started writing words on the blank area at the bottom side of the project descriptor. He was writing so slowly that Ruka tried to figure out what he was thinking. A minute later, Natsume managed to write three pointers which contained at least three words each.

"Nogi, I like your idea but I have added some things into it. So, here's my plan..."

Natsume started explaining the points and occasionally, he would pause to see if Ruka had anything to say about the idea. But Ruka would remain quiet, except for his 'hm' sound of acknowledgement with a small nod. His eyes were always on the paper, giving no eye contact with Natsume. Because of that, Natsume wondered if Ruka was not as extrovert as he looked. It was not that he was judging him by his looks. It was Ruka's bright personality which reminded him of Mikan when he had first met her.

Thinking about Mikan, a strange upsetting feeling settled in his chest. He had seen her everyday in school but the time spent talking to her was lesser than before ever since Hotaru had entered into her life. It was reassuring that she had found a female friend whom she could talk to. So far, Hotaru had been treating her well too, except for the questionable carrot balls given to her every now and then.

However, he disliked the fact their quality time together was 'at stake'. He could be next to her during their lunch break but they could spent the half an hour without talking to each other except for the greetings and goodbyes. There were times when he wondered if Mikan had forgotten his presence and that made him so annoyed with Hotaru who kept hogging her. There were times when he wanted to move in between the two girls and make them notice that they were leaving him out of every conversation. But of course, he would not dare to do all these things. He had his pride and did not want to be seen as childish.

Just then, the school bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. Then, the teacher called everyone to return to their seats. Ruka muttered 'talk to you later' to Natsume before leaving for his original seating arrangement. Natsume only nodded in response and then rested his head on the head rest. After the teacher concluded the lesson with a reminder of the project deadline, everyone bid farewell to the teacher and the lesson officially ended. Everyone packed their bags and started evacuating from the classroom, leaving Natsume and a few other students behind. Sighing to himself, Natsume closed his textbook and stacked the descriptor on top of it. Usually, he would wait for either one of his parents to help him pack his bag. However, this time, he did not have to wait. A pair of fair white hands lifted his bag from the ground and placed it on the table. He looked up and stared wide-eyed at the owner of the hands.

"Nogi..."

"Let me help you," Ruka said bashfully as he inserted the textbook into the bag.

Ruka took out a thin folder and inserted the stack of papers into it, then he put it back inside the school bag. Natsume was dumbfounded to say anything. It was not everyday he would encounter a classmate helping him. It felt so strange and more awkward than talking to strangers.

What should he say to him?

Just thank you?

"There you go," Ruka said to him as he hung the bag at the back of the wheelchair. "Are you waiting for your parents?"

"Yeah," came a short reply.

"At where?"

"The foyer."

"I'll take you there," Ruka offered with a small smile.

Natsume pursed his lips as he stared at Ruka with a puzzled look. Why was he being so nice to him? Shouldn't he be avoiding him like some plague like what everyone had been doing towards him? Or was he pitying him?

He frowned at the last statement. He did not need any pity. He was like any normal being, except that he could not control his muscles.

He cracked an awkward smile and claimed, "You don't need to take me there. I can go there myself."

"Is that so?" Ruka muttered and scratched his cheek in deep thought. "I was heading to the foyer anyway... so I thought..."

"See you tomorrow," Natsume interjected and pushed his controller forward.

Seeing the dark raven-haired boy moved past him, Ruka muttered goodbye and sighed softly. Natsume's shell was sure hard to break and he wondered if he could really get along with him. How he wished that he could be like the brunette on the bus every morning. He wanted to be someone who could also enter and touch his new friend's world, like what this girl had been seen doing.

* * *

**Hello everyone! This story is finally updated after six months. So sorry about that (OxO)**

**By the way, I am the co-owner of this account, helping my partner (who has been managing this story all these while) to post this chapter and probably the subsequent chapters as well. ****There are another 2 more chapters to go before the story ends and I am planning to help to update the next two chapters by the end of next week. My partner had been going through a lot for the past few months and it saddened me to see how emotionally vulnerable my partner is. But he has managed to get over and stand up again last week. It was really great to see Jin start typing away, attempting to finish writing the first draft of the last chapter. The final chapter has been written a few days ago and is now getting ready to be proofread. See you again in the next chapter... perhaps this coming Friday (earliest)?**

**Thank you to the reviewers of the previous chapter:**

**\- **Anilissa  
**-** sweet little_  
_**\- **Lexi1989 _  
_**\- **Aqua Fire Queen**  
**

**Thank you to those who have also reviewed, favourited and followed this story!**

**_\- Crimson Knights_**


	7. 7th Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

* * *

7th Wheel

_-2006-_

Mikan's eyes brightened at the sight of Natsume heading towards the school gates. She waved goodbye to Hotaru and pushed her wheelchair forward, wanting to join Natsume for a quick chat before going home. She knew she had not been talking much to him lately because she was always talking to Hotaru, and she felt bad about it. She hoped that he would not be angry although she knew he would be.

"Natsume!" she called out to him, but he still continued to move.

"Natsume!" she called again.

However, he still did not respond to her. Mikan furrowed her eyebrows, feeling guilty for making him so upset with her. She sped up, mentally telling herself that she could beat that hundred kilogram motor wheelchair with her arm strength.

Or maybe not, obviously.

He suddenly left the main walking path and went into the dark grey area with white lines on it - the carpark. Mikan panicked. How could he not care about his safety? She knew that crossing the carpark is the shortcut to the school gates, but she would not expect Natsume to daringly take this shortcut when he was unlike other students who could watch out for cars behind them and run for their lives if they saw one. Without thinking, she changed lane and entered the carpark too. As she followed him quickly, she kept trying her best to look behind to check for incoming cars. It was difficult to do so due to her disability but at least she knew that he was safe from danger.

Just then, she caught sight of Natsume's father coming out of his car which he had just stopped outside the main gates. He stared at his son, just as horrified as her when she first saw him doing that earlier. His eyes darted to the left and his jaw fell. As he stared back at his son, he began to run towards him as fast as he could. At first, Mikan was not sure what made him even more horrified until she saw something appeared from a corner. It was a blind spot.

"Natsume! Move away!" both his father and Mikan shouted at the same time.

Finally, Natsume stopped and turned his head a little. He could not see her because of his limitation but she knew he had finally noticed her. That was no longer the point. The car was coming and Natsume was going to be hit at this rate. Mikan sped up once more, eyes focusing on her best friend. The wind brushed roughly against her skin, the world became thin steaks of bright yet blurry lines, the loud horn blasted and held. This instance reminded her when she was an athlete years ago, doing the beep-test for warm up before the start of every fencing session. Her long slim legs would carry her fast and quick. At that time, she had always wondered if her male schoolmate with SMA had ever experienced the joy of moving around in running speed.

Her eyes were fixated on Natsume, envisioning the possibility of getting him out of the car's way safe and sound. His father would never reach there on time to save Natsume. Even if he did, he would be hit either. The only person who could save him was her. Only her.

From metres to centimetres. From centimetres to millimetres. She moved so quickly against time and within seconds, she rammed her wheelchair against the wheelchair which weighed almost two times more than hers. Natsume felt himself being thrown forward but was luckily restrained by the two straps of belt around him. Before he knew it, he was already moving towards his panicking father... slowly.

Then, he heard a loud 'bam', followed by a sharp cry of his name behind him. At this moment, his heart stopped for the longest time ever.

Time is selfish. It will never stop during the worst events ever. It can never rewind for those people who really need it to change their lives for good. It will never slow down for anyone or anything. Time just runs, like some famous scientists suggested, in the speed of light. However, only for Mikan, time was suddenly frozen.

Once again.

-:-:-:-

_-2000-_

"How's your day, Son?"

Natsume looked at his father who was sitting at the opposite side of the table. His thoughts were jumbled up due to an exciting reason. He slowly put his spoon into his bowl of rice and let out of soft hum. Upon seeing Natsume thinking hard about his day, the father smiled warmly.

"You know, Dad, I met this girl today."

"Oh! A girl!" his father exclaimed loudly. "And yeah?"

"She pushed my wheelchair up the ramp," Natsume continued.

His father stared at him silently for a moment before a breathy 'oh' escaped from his mouth. Even though Natsume did not express himself well, he knew that Natsume was happy that someone helped him in school. A simple gesture could really make someone's day.

"Did you thank her after that?" his father asked with a smile, hoping that he did because he was the type who would keep quiet when he became shy.

Natsume bit his lower lip and looked away. The older man's smile was instantly wiped off. It was so obvious that he did not thank the girl and it occurred to him that Natsume had never learnt to thank others despite how many times he had reprimanded him.

"That's rude, Natsume."

Natsume looked at his father meekly and then looked away again. "I did."

"Did what?"

Natsume continued in a softer voice, "Thank her."

"Oh, really?"

"Softly," Natsume mumbled as he pressed his forefinger and thumb together to emphasise how soft he thanked her.

However, when he saw the frown on his father's forehead, Natsume knitted his eyebrows too and bit his lower lip again.

"Could she hear you?"

"Eh... No?" Natsume replied, but it came out more like a question instead.

"You are too soft. Thank her again next time when you see her," his father instructed sternly. "Give your thanks sincerely. Not some squeaky thanks which others can't hear. That's no longer a thank you."

Natsume hung his head low and gave a slight nod. He felt wronged because he did not mean to thank her insincerely. He was so embarrassed to say anything. She had made him feel and witness something special which he would never had the chance to do so.

_The feeling of running and moving so rapidly._

A small smile plastered on his face as he replayed the memory of his rapid vision and the sound of her joyous laughter. She was not one of the better-grades students in their cohort, neither was she the prettiest girl in the school. She was like any other girls in twin tails, studying very hard for her exams and practicing fencing every day. However, she was so special to him, and so beautiful in her own way. Every greeting and word she had spoken to him was little precious treasure which he knew that he would keep in his heart for life. The words might not matter to her, but they did for him.

The following day, he was set to thank her loudly and clearly. He had mentally rehearsed the scene of how to say a proper thank you without being seen as too cold and forced. He knew that he had the tendency to maintain a straight face while thanking people... softly. It was not because he was aloof and cold to others, but he was in fact too tense to even blink while saying a word of thanks to others. He was not the type who stuttered a lot under social pressure or tense situation. Instead, his mouth would always decide to keep his lips seal tight and his eyes would then stare hard at the person in front of him. If not, he would mutter a soft thank you which could not be even heard by others before moving away far from the person. Anyone would obviously think that he was either rude or cold towards him or her.

As he entered the gymnasium, he saw students in white and black robe with a protective armour covering their bodies. They were sitting in a formation of a ring, watching a fencing match between two students. Both were wearing helmets which framed their head and had wires before their faces. Just by looking at the dark brown eyes behind the set of wires and a small hazel brown ponytail sticking out of the helmet, Natsume immediately knew that one of the sparring members was Mikan.

Despite how warm and nice Mikan was, she was a skillful fighter whose aim to beat her opponent within seconds the moment she entered into her fighting stance with her sword. Her movements were graceful and fast, dodging every attack and striking her opponent with her sword with precision. She hopped, feet gliding across the floor and made all kinds of gentle small steps which made her look as if she was dancing. All Natsume could do while admiring her 'dance' was just watching with wide eyes which were no doubt filled with fascination and awe.

"Hu-ah!" Mikan suddenly shouted in a surprisingly strong low voice and with a steady strike, her opponent's sword flew out of her hands and landed a few metres away from them.

Appalled to see her sword had left her grip, her opponent turned her head towards the direction where her sword lay. Taking this chance to make a second attack, Mikan brought her own sword forward swiftly and pressed the tip against her opponent's front armour as gentle as possible. Then, a whistle was blown and just like that, the spar ended so quickly. The two fencers removed their helmets and bowed to each other before making their way to the side of the gymnasium to have a good rest while watching the others spar. Seeing Mikan take a seat on a bench without anyone around her, Natsume decided to approach her with all the courage he could muster. Truthfully, he was nervous and he was going to say thank you to a girl whom he had seldom talked to.

He moved closer to Mikan slowly. Even though he was so sure that he purposely ran on slow motor, the distance between him and her seemed to narrow too quickly, worsening his anxiety in the process.

"Hyuuga?"

It was totally unexpected. He did not really expect himself to be caught on by her that early. He wanted to be the one calling out to her but in the end, she was always the one calling out to him no matter how far or near she was from him. Her bright brown eyes were staring straight into his with pure astonishment and curiosity. For a moment, he felt so uncool and looked away with a slight frown.

"I'm surprised, Hyuuga. Did you come to see us spar?" he could hear her cheerful voice ringing into his ears.

He stole a glance at her and he could clearly see her anticipation for his answer on her face. She was smiling brightly at him like always, as if she held no regard to his rudeness towards her all these while. He shifted his gaze away from her again and unconsciously stuck out his lower lip as he thought about how to break the 'thank you' words in a less abrupt manner and cooler way.

"Are you all right?" she asked Natsume worriedly as she stood up and took a few steps towards him.

Natsume turned his head back to the front and immediately felt the urge to make a reverse. Just right in front in him, Mikan knelt on the ground and took out a small packet of napkins from her side pocket. She pulled out a piece of napkin and folded it into half.

"I'm sorry..."

Natsume frowned harder. Why was she apologising?

"... for not noticing you earlier."

_What?_

Before he knew what was happening, Mikan pressed the napkin against his forehead and gently moved it across his forehead and down the left side of his face to his chin.

"You are perspiring so much and you look so pale. You must have been here for quite long," she continued to mumble as she cleaned off the small beads of perspiration at the other side of his face.

She was wrong, he mentally corrected. He had come all the way to the gymnasium and came in at least three minutes before the spar had ended. He did not really spend so long in the enclosed building. More like the heat outside was the reason why he looked so pathetic. He raised his hand a little and touched her wrist which was hovering in front of his face. It was his first time touching a girl and he never knew how cold her wrist was. Either his hand was very warm or Mikan's body mechanism made her lose too much heat from her perspiration as well. Well, her robe had many large wet spots around her collar and chest areas, and her wrist was no doubt sticky. Natsume made a small smile which went unnoticeable to the girl in front of him. He wished time could be frozen right then so that he could hold onto her cold hand a little longer.

Surprised by his touch, Mikan dropped her gaze to Natsume's eye level and paused whatever she was doing. Even though his hand was small and thin, his touch was very warm. The heat from his skin seemed to seep into her pores, warming her wrist and slowly rippled to the tip of her fingers and even to her heart. Natsume finally regarded her presence after so long. He was always so collected and did not really interact with her despite how much she tried to talk to him. The growing warmth in her heart caused her to beam at him again and forget that she had to continue to wipe his perspiration off his face.

Without warning, Natsume pulled her hand away from his face, earning a confused stare from the brunette in front of him.

"Hyuuga, I..." Mikan's voice quivered and she immediately withdrew her hand. "I'm sorry! I should have respected your space... I didn't mean to touch you so casually! I'm sorry!"

Natsume was stunned and only a lame syllable escaped his lips, "Ah..."

He did not mean to make her so flustered and keep apologising to him for no reason. All he wanted was to look at her face and directly tell her that he was grateful and thankful for the experience the day before. He thought it was a great atmosphere to do so and get it done with smoothly. But it appeared that his actions had brought about a lot of misunderstanding. It had always been like this anyway. It hurt him to see Mikan looking upset because of his misunderstood action. She was looking down, fidgeting with her fingers while the crushed napkin locked between her thumb and palm. She looked terribly dejected as if he had just said something bad to her.

"Hey," he managed to find his voice despite his nervousness as he stared at her with a straight face. "Thanks..."

Surprised, Mikan's eyes widened and she looked up at him. As if an automatic response to her intense stare, Natsume turned his head to the side and frowned when he felt his heart race.

"It's nothing much. I just helped you to wipe your sweat away," she said with a soft laugh. "Really... I was..."

"For both yesterday and today..." he interrupted her, still looking away from her. "Thanks."

With that, he reversed and made a deep turn to his right till his back was facing her. He wondered what kind of face she would be making. Would she be too surprised that he still remembered what she had done to him? Would she find him strange? Would she misunderstand him again? He wanted to turn his wheelchair and take a good look at her face before making his way out of the gymnasium. But he was afraid to know the kind of face she would be giving him.

Just then, he heard her voice, "You're welcome!"

Upon hearing her voice, he smirked to himself. He could clearly see her radiant smile in his mind and that was enough to relief him. He had said his thanks and he had received something more satisfying than he could ever imagine.

_Happiness._

-:-:-:-

_-2006-_

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" his mother cried as she covered her tear-stained face with her hands.

"Dear, please," his father comforted her, wrapping his arms around her. "It is nobody's fault. The driver couldn't see us and..."

"I don't know what to say anymore!" his mother cried even louder, shaking her head hysterically. "Why has it to be her? Her again?! Why!"

"But she jumped in."

His mother finally removed her hands from her face and glared at her husband.

"That's why," she said in a soft voice. "She should hate us. Hate me for being so mean. What do I get now? Not hate. But this!"

His mother's face fell into her hands again and began sobbing away while murmuring something behind her palms. His father sighed and tightened his embrace around his wife, masking his guilt and remorse with a poker-face. Everything seemed to go back in time when the couple were desperately hoping that their son would be alive after suffering from a respiratory attack previously. The only difference this time was not their son in the operation room; Natsume was sitting in his wheelchair just outside the glass sliding entrance door of the operation theatre, with a pair of trembling arms and pale face.

Instead, the one who was lying inside the theatre was his saviour, the one who had saved him from the car accident.

Finally, after three hours, the red light turned off and a few surgeons and nurses walked out of the operation theatre. He could see bloodstains on the surgeons' coats and the sight of the fresh red blood made him dizzy and break inside. They were her blood and he had caused her blood to spill. He moved towards the surgeons and blocked their way. His parents who was seated behind him all these while rushed towards the surgeons as well and began demanding for his saviour's condition. The following response of a surgeon was devastating. The surgeon with his mask on closed his eyes and hesitantly shook his head. He bowed to the Hyuuga family and his medical team behind him put their hands by their sides and lowered their heads.

Seeing this, it broke his heart even more but he was too devastated to even cry out her name in pain. He just remained still and let time slipped through his fingers as the head surgeon pulled his mask down and revealed the result of Mikan's operation.

* * *

**Hello everyone! As promised, this chapter is updated on time! Yay :D  
****The next chapter will be the final chapter and it will be updated next week. Do keep a lookout for it. :)**

**Thank you, **Anilissa**, for reviewing the previous chapter. Here's the reply to your review: **_Instead of Hotaru thinking that Natsume is shady, the chemistry between Hotaru and Natsume doesn't seem to work quite well here because they are kinda reserved. They need someone to help them bond together. However, it is more like Natsume being the one who thinks Hotaru is a suspicious person. Haha_

**And thank you to those who have also favourited and followed this story!**

**_\- Crimson Knights_**


	8. 8th Wheel

**Love on the Wheelchair**

_-2013-_

"Something which I don't want him to know? Hmm... I don't really have any secret kept from him though. I'm a pretty straightforward person."

"And you think I'd tell you the thing which I don't want her to know. Heh. As if I would tell you that I don't really like her singing... Oh damn... Don't tell her that I say that. I like her singing. Her voice is the best. Yeah. Wait... What are you scribbling down? I told you to scratch that."

* * *

8th Wheel

_25/06/2006, Sunday_

Dear Diary,

This is my very first entry. I have never written a diary before and I'm going to start today. I can't write very well and I can get tired very easily after writing two paragraphs. I'm glad that I was trained to use a mouse and a keyboard so that writing will be less difficult and tiring for me. The creation of Microsoft Word is a blessing to mankind. Really. I don't have to hand-write so many words. All I need to do is to type slowly, like a tortoise. Then, I clicked 'save as' and there I have it. A soft document in which the 'ink' can last forever.

Therefore, I am now writing an e-diary. It sounds cooler than a typical diary, right?

Anyway, the reason why I start writing a diary is because I want to record Mikan Sakura's progress and perhaps my day with her. It has been a month since the car accident and she is still sleeping. Nurses said that she had a terrible concussion and she may sleep forever. Even if she wakes up, she will not remember anything.

I visit her everyday and tell her stories of my day. Sometimes, I will read her a storybook. She likes reading romance and fantasy books so I will choose books of those genres. Today, I read 'The White Witch' by Kiku Yamamoto to Mikan. It was recommended by the school librarian and while reading the book to her, I realise that the White Witch was so much like Mikan while the black crow in the story was quite like me in many aspects.

The White Witch loved the world so much that she provided sunshine in everyone's life. Even when she lost an arm and fractured her leg due to the rebellion of her servants and people, she continued to raise her only arm to provide light to the world. The White Witch was bleeding profusely, yet she cared for the world. Meanwhile, the black crow was a good-for-nothing animal in the story. Crows are always deemed as bad luck and were usually associated with evil witches in the past. The White Witch was the 'good' witch so the black crow wasn't in the 'good' equation. The truth was, the black crow craved for light. The brighter the light a place was, the better the place for it to dwell. That was why the black crow was drawn to the White Witch since the beginning of its birth. But it would keep its distance from the White Witch because it knew that a dirty being like itself could never be close to a being so pure.

Seeing the White Witch hurting so much, the black crow wanted to turn a blind eye to her and watch the rebellion take place. Whatever the crow might do, it would always be bad luck. So, why bother do a thing? Watching the scene unfold before it would be better.

After many days of rebellion, the crow decided to ask why the White Witch was trying so hard to please the world when there were so many people hurting her in return. The White Witch then explained that she was actually very tired of always shining so brightly due to her impairment. However, what kept her going was her love for her people and furthermore, she believed that there were some people in the world who would appreciate her light, like the black crow.

This is the summary of the story. It is actually a book. A really thick book, consisting 285 pages. Okay, not that thick. But still thick for a story like this. I only managed to read to Mikan till page 11. I probably need to skip some useless parts next time and get to the more interesting parts so Mikan won't get bored listening to my monotonous storytelling. I wonder if she really listened to my storytelling. If she did, she would laugh at my lazy, dull voice.

I'm not an expressive person. Hmmmmmm

Anyway, I'm going to end off here. I will update again tomorrow.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_01/07/2006, Saturday_

Dear Diary

Today, Nogi and Imai visited Mikan. Because they are very busy with school activities, they can only visit the hospital once or twice a week. Since they did not have spring cleaning duties today, they stayed with us slightly longer than usual. Usually, they would stay for an hour before going home in the evening. Sometimes, they would bring flowers and books to read to Mikan like I always do. So, for today, they stayed for four hours. We chatted a little and Imai volunteered to read The White Witch. We are finally at page 64.

Finally. Yay. Another 200+ more pages to go. Hmmmmmmmmm. I think I should summarise the story instead of skipping the useless parts. This is taking way too long.

Imai and Nogi are both worried for her and hoping that she will wake up sooner. Imai always talks about making carrot balls for Mikan, hoping that she would wake up from hearing the name of that food. Are you serious, Imai? I'm sure Mikan doesn't even like it but she had to eat those carrot balls because they were made by her friend and she did not want to make her feel bad. Mikan is this type of person and has always been like this.

Nogi doesn't talk much to Mikan, unlike Imai. Instead, he talks to me a lot. He asked questions about her and our past together. He said that he had taken the same bus as Mikan and had always wanted to be her friend, but he did not know how to approach her. Again, are you serious, Nogi? You spoke so much to me and tried to get close to me when we first got to know each other in class. Yet, you couldn't approach the most approachable girl on the bus?

I realised that my diary entries are getting shorter and shorter. My first entry is the longest so far and my fingers start to ache a little after typing so much and on a regular basis. I probably need to keep my entries shorter for now on.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_04/07/2006, Tuesday_

Dear Diary,

I had decided to tell a different story other than the story about the White Witch. Just a pause on the story for a day. Instead, I chose to rant about my day and my test grades. I have gotten a 'C' grade for English language. My grammar is terrible. I don't understand this superlative thing. For example: big, bigger and biggest; short, shorter and shortest; dark, darker and darkest. Those with -er mean that there are slightly more amount than what the first word represents, and those with -est are like the most. So, I used this concept for everything. And I have gotten half of this grammar section wrong. My teacher even wrote a remark next to my answer 'beautifulest': Awesomest answer!

I don't know what 'awesomest' means but I think it is a bad word. It probably meant 'wrong' in the extreme way because there is a '-est' behind. Since it is English, no one will understand unless we students check it out in the dictionary. Anyway, I guess I need more practice on grammar. The only thing which I am happy about is my vocabulary. I was able to name the objects and colours. However, I made a mistake for that section. I spelled 'lollipop' as 'loripoop'.

I have a 'B' grade for Biology. For the first time, I have gotten a grade other than an 'A' for a science subject. I don't know how to face my parents if they find out about the grades. I'm planning to keep the test papers in my bag till my teacher asks for them to check for my parent's signature, then obviously, she will call my mother to come down to school to get the papers signed. I will definitely be scolded even if I show them the test papers now. Oh well.

So, those were my rants and worries of the day. If Mikan were fine, she would have forced me to show my test papers to my parents regardless of my grades. Maybe she would say 'don't be a naughty kid, hiding your test papers from your parents is childish'. Argh. I just admitted to myself that I am childish.

Basically, I have been talking to Mikan everyday. I made sure that I greet and introduce myself to her when I entered the ward. I don't even know if she could recognise my voice. Because she may not remember a thing when she wakes up but since I speak to her everyday, do you think she can hear my voice and remember me?

Will she wake up one day and say "good morning, Natsume" like she always did?

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_13/07/2006, Thursday_

Dear Diary,

Mikan's condition hasn't improved. She is still sleeping. Remembering the first day when she was admitted to the hospital, her first operation was not successful and she had lost a lot of blood. Her first operation lasted for 8 hours. After transfusing blood into her body, she underwent another 6 hours of surgery. It was an anxious wait and all I prayed was for good news. Finally, thank God, the second operation was a success but the doctor said that she would be in a coma and would probably wake up either disoriented or not remembering things.

Today, I stopped at page 113 of 'The White Witch'. I read only 5 pages for today. Yesterday, Imai read 14 pages straight without pausing to take a drink. I asked Nogi if he ever wanted to help reading out the book and he said no. He refused to read the book and questioned me why I even chose such a thick book. He said that there was an online summarised version for kids. You don't understand, Nogi. Not like I want to read such a thick book either. But this book is so meaningful and it motivates me to read her a few pages everyday, in hope that she would never forget me. I want her to wake up remembering me. Even if she couldn't remember my face, at least remembering my voice is enough.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_23/7/2006, Sunday_

Dear Diary,

Imai read another 20 pages of the book again. Finally, we're at page 177.

Nogi brought rabbit-shaped buns for the three of us to eat. He said that his mother made them and she added yam paste as filling. They were delicious. On the other hand, Imai brought along her carrot balls (new recipe - fried carrot balls) and attempted to share one with me. She knew I would reject her normal carrot balls because I said that I didn't like carrots before. So, she fried the carrot balls with corn flour. She then lied that they were fried fishballs but I just knew that they weren't. As if she had the time to make fishballs.

I ate that carrot ball anyway. It was absolutely tasteless. I wonder how Mikan could even eat one or two of those carrot balls everyday. I wonder how bad Imai's tastebuds are to even savour such plain cooked carrots. Carrots are tasty when they are eaten raw or half-cooked. Really. They are sweeter this way. Boiled carrots are even tastier when coated with tomato sauce.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_27/7/2006, Thursday_

Dear Diary,

I feel like throwing myself into sea and pretend that my tears were just seawater which just entered and stung my eyes. It has already been 2 months and Mikan hasn't woken up yet. We have reached 200 pages of that thick book and have 85 more pages to go. Here's an expectation: the book may be finished in two weeks time, given that I read at least 5 pages a day while Imai read at least 20 pages a week. She crazily reads 10 to 15 pages during each visit. Doesn't her mouth get tired?

But there's something I can't expect; I don't know when Mikan will wake up. Her heart rate seemed fine: approximately 62 BPM based on the heart rate machine next to her bed. Actually, I don't know if it is really fine.

Her fingers are always cold when I touched them. Oh, but sometimes, I would feel her fingers twitch under my palm. Again, I don't know if she could actually sense my touch or if it is just an involuntary muscle-twitch of her fingers.

There are so many things I don't know anymore. Things are so easy when there's an expectation. When the expectation is unclear, I honestly don't know what to expect anymore but cry to God for help.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_2/8/2006, Wednesday_

Dear Diary,

Keeping this short and sweet.

No news. The nurse just said that she was surprised to see how determined I was to finish reading the book. She was even surprised to see a person who is willing to spend his evenings with his comatose friend. Furthermore, due to my weak lungs, I shouldn't be spending time in the hospital, she noted. Duh, I know. I always avoided hospital unless I fall ill. But I wear a mask during my visit and drink warm milk every morning, so I would be fine.

By the way, 46 more pages to go.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_7__/8/2006__, Monday_

Dear Diary,

First day of the school week is often weary. Monday blues, they call it. I felt sick suddenly during History lesson and left school for home to rest. I am too weak to visit the hospital. I'm so sorry, Mikan.

\- Natsume

-:-:-:-

_9__/8/2006,__ Wednesday_

Dear Diary,

This entry will marked the end of everything. Too tired to write diaries.

Anyway, I'm finally better. I didn't attend school today because I am still on medical leave. However, my parents received a piece of news today. My parents rushed me to the hospital as soon as I woke up lazily in the morning. I hadn't visited Mikan for two days and didn't plan to do so today. I felt bad but I think Mikan would understand that I was too sick to pay her a visit.

I wasn't informed as to why my parents rushed me to the hospital. I told them that I was fine but later, it turned out that it wasn't me who had to see the doctor but it was Mikan who had to see a brain specialist for some MRI scanning procedure. I was scared upon hearing this. Did something happen to Mikan while I was away? Would she really lose all her memories? I didn't know what was happening to see my parents getting so worked up early in morning. They did not even say much to me either and that was indeed frustrating. The journey to the hospital was suspenseful.

When we reached the hospital, I put on a mask and a pair of surgical gloves for health reasons. Then, my parents took me to a ward. A small single ward. And there, on the bed, lay Mikan with tubes sticking out of her arms, wrists and nostrils. The heart rate machine was beeping away at the rate of 65 BPM. All those while, Mikan was in the mixed ward with three other female teenagers inside. For her to suddenly shift to a single ward, I really thought something might have happened to her and I nearly broke down. More like feeling my heart tear into pieces.

I just stayed by the entrance, trembling slightly. She was beautiful despite being in the plain pink patient gown, I thought to myself. She has travelled miles into the hearts of many people despite being legless. She has shone ever so brightly into my life that I couldn't bear to see her lose that radiance if she really lost her memory.

As I was hesitating to move into the ward any further, Mikan slowly opened her eyes and crooked her head a little to face towards our direction. Her brown eyes were staring straight into mine. No excitement. No happiness. No sadness. No anger. Her eyes totally reflected a blank space. This was when I managed to get myself together and muttered her name out loud, trying to sound relief. It was okay if she could not remember me but at least, she was alive and awake. This was what I mentally comforted myself. We could start anew together.

But Mikan, like always, proved me wrong. She opened her mouth and I could finally hear her voice for the first time in more than two months. I could finally cry in happiness ever since that day when she was admitted to the hospital. It was all because she suddenly smiled at me as if her blank stare earlier was just a hallucination on my part, and she greeted me with:

_"Good morning, Natsume."_

She said my name. She remembers me. My ever sunshine is back.

Thank God for His grace.

\- Natsume

* * *

_-2014-_

_I miss you so much, Natsume. I wish you are here, sharing the same interview questions with me and laughing at our funny answers together after everything. Do you know that you are actually my guiding light? If you hadn't stopped me from pushing myself off the stairs ten years ago, I wouldn't be able to fully understand what love is all about. Oh, and there's another thing I haven't told you for the longest time. I could hear your voice. Although you didn't finish reading the book, I could tell that it was a wonderful story. So, I secretly borrowed and read the book from the beginning to the end. The White Witch reminds me of you while the black crow is more like me. It was no doubt that you are my sunshine all along. Thank you for being in my life._

"Hello, Miss Sakura. It has been a year since our last interview."

"Ah, yes. Previously, it was a separate interview. You interviewed me in this same room... I guess? While another person interviewed Natsume."

"It was fun talking to you. How's life so far?"

"Quite good. I'm currently working as a school counselor. I am new to this job so there were ups and downs at first but I have learnt to cope with them. As you can see, being a counselor wasn't my cup of tea. I didn't really think I could counsel people. But Natsume told me to go for this degree programme and be someone else's sunshine. He believed in me and I didn't want to disappoint him. He also said that it was his dream to be the light for others who were trapped in darkness. So, we studied the same programme together but in the end... I was the only one who became a practicing counselor."

"It must have been hard on you."

"It's okay. It has already been... seven months. No matter how far he is from me, Natsume will always be there for me."

_In my heart, that is._

_Till we meet again in afterlife._

**\- I may be two limbs lesser than others,**  
**but I have a pair of limbs which can carry me up**  
**the highest mountain... and that's you. -**

~ Fin ~

* * *

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews, follows and favourites. This story has finally ended after so long and I hope you all enjoy it. See you all again! ****Best regards, _Crimson Knights _:)**


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